What It All Comes Down To

This weekend it occured to me as I played in the park with my beautiful boy, that I have never truly smiled until he came into my life. Sure, I've smiled when I was happy. These were genuine smiles, but they were nothing compared to this, this feeling of a smile. It's something that I cannot fully describe, but feel deep within myself.

When I look into his eyes I feel a warmth radiate from my very core, a harmonious vibration of being at one with the world. I look at him and I know the meaning of my existence. A simple truth that solves the confusion of everyday life in the real world. I smiled and I cried because it made me so happy to have him, knowing that it all comes down to this. The here and now, nothing else matters.Thanks, Metallica.

In that instant, looking into his eyes, I contemplated the future- Snowflake growing up and becoming a young man, having children of his own and growing old, dying. I am going to die some day. I may not get to see all that I want to see. It scares me knowing that some people never have these realizations. To them, life is about making enough money, having a good time no matter what, becoming something for someone else, just to feel worthy, but NOT happy.

I'm filled with so much love and adoration for my son. I am so thankful and I feel so fortunate and blessed by the universe to be his mother. Whether or not I'm there to witness all the pleasures and pains of his life, I know that that the eyes of the man will always be the blue eyes of my little boy. This I will carry in my heart forever.