Friday, March 10, 2006

Dumping & Screwing

You're a modern mamma and you like cool things for your sweet bambino. You like quality and good design. Objects that can be handed down to the next generation, if there is one. And hell, even if there's not, it would make a good conversation piece or decorator item. You come across the Wolfgang Sirch Franz Wheelbarrow and it seems to you it is perfect, or as perfect as you can get to what you imagine making your two year old little boy's Christmas dreams come true.

Made of beautiful birch plywood by a company that has a family tradition streching back over 400 years, you can imagine him enjoying it. When you look for something similar to compare it to, there is nothing. You decide to order it. It comes and it looks good although you really did expect more quality. The finish is rough. It seems flimsy. It has a funky little lever that actually dumps the contents. You realize it's more than you hoped for as the little one takes to it like second nature. Immediately he's pushing it all over the house with a huge grin and enjoying it.

Unfortunately, two days later the screw in the lever/dumping mechanism falls out and you are unable to fix it. This tiny screw that holds this together appears stripped. You know that this poor undersized, overworked screw would never be able to handle the rigors of everyday little boy adventures. You're extremely disappointed by the performance of this high-end toy. Still, you have faith and contact the company you purchased it from.

They send a replacement and this time, the wheelbarrow is missing two of it's hubcaps. Just then, your inquisitive boy leans on the end, the lever which happens to be unlocked causes the dumping action and bashes his lip into the tip of the wheelbarrow. This time you call the distributor and you can tell by her tone that she is familiar with your case and she refers you back to the store that sold it to you.

You call them and they say how sorry they are and how the distributor has never gotten a return or even one complaint on this product. You must be cursed with Polish luck for getting two of the worst ones(only ones) ever made that seemed to slip by Quality Control in Switzerland. Yeah right, you're thinking.

You're thinking that this is not a TOY. This is an overpriced status object for snobby adults that don't WANT their children to play with the expensive toys they buy them. You can just imagine,

"Don't put your toys in there, Tommy! You'll scratch it! Let's just put it in the corner over here with your giant Steiff bear in it and we can look at it" gasping, eyes wide open like a Campbell kid's.

Looking at your cutie-pie's throbbing, fat and bloody lip you decide enough is enough bullshit and tell her you want to return it. You exchange emails and when she receives it, she raves about how her little boy just took too it. Duh, you already tod her that would happen. You just can't wait until that screw falls out. The only thing you're happy about is getting your money back and that the screw didn't fall out just over a month from now. Because then, that little screw would have really screwed you.


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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you can be my consumers guide to what kids toys to buy and which to avoid. The magnifying glass looks pretty cool. Plus, you can definitely light up some big bugs with that once the sun returns.