Monday, April 30, 2007

Same Place, Different Time

willow 2005
Autumn 2005

Spring 2007


snowflake 2005


Wood, Water, Bone



beach bone


honey bee
On Cherry Blossom

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Chocolate Pig

Succulent and creamy.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Either Way...

I want this.

It is so totally perfect. I would vow never to have sex again for a bed like this. Or I would totally have sex with you if you buy me this bed. I'm easy like that.

One Fabulous Day Out of the Year

Famous People Born February 7th

* 1102 - Empress Matilda, Princess of England and wife of Henry V of the Holy Roman Empire (d. 1169)
* 1478 - Sir Thomas More, English statesman, humanist, and author (d. 1535)
* 1612 - Thomas Killigrew, English dramatist (d. 1683)
* 1693 - Empress Anna of Russia (d. 1740)
* 1804 - John Deere, American manufacturer (Deere & Company) (d. 1886)
* 1812 - Charles Dickens, English novelist (d. 1870)
* 1842 - Alexandre Ribot, French statesman (d. 1923)
* 1867 - Laura Ingalls Wilder, American author (d. 1957)
* 1870 - Alfred Adler, Austrian psychologist (d. 1937)
* 1877 - Godfrey Harold Hardy, English mathematician (d. 1947)
* 1885 - Sinclair Lewis, American writer, Nobel Prize Laureate (d. 1951)
* 1885 - Hugo Sperrle, German field marshal (d. 1953)
* 1887 - Eubie Blake, American musician and composer (d. 1983)
* 1889 - Harry Nyquist, important contributor to information theory (d. 1976)
* 1891 - Ann Little, American actress (d. 1984)
* 1895 - Anita Stewart, American film actress (d. 1961)
* 1898 - Dock Boggs, American musician (d. 1971)
* 1905 - Ulf von Euler, Swedish physiologist, Nobel Prize Laureate (d. 1983)
* 1905 - Paul Nizan, French author (d. 1940)
* 1905 - Cyril Demarne, British Firefighter (d.2007)
* 1906 - Oleg Antonov, Soviet aircraft designer (d. 1984)
* 1906 - Puyi, Emperor of China (d. 1967)
* 1907 - Yevgeniy Abalakov, Soviet mountaineer (d. 1948)
* 1908 - Buster Crabbe, American swimmer and actor (d. 1983)
* 1909 - Hélder Câmara, Roman catholic archbishop (d. 1999)
* 1914 - Ramón Mercader, Spanish assassin of Leon Trotsky (d. 1978)
* 1915 - Eddie Bracken, American actor (d. 2002)
* 1918 - Markey Robinson, Northern Irish painter (d. 1999)
* 1920 - An Wang, Chinese-born computer pioneer (d. 1990)
* 1924 - Hattie Jacques, English actress (d. 1980)
* 1926 - Konstantin Feoktistov, cosmonaut
* 1927 - Juliette Greco, French singer and actor
* 1927 - Vladimir Kuts, Russian runner (d. 1975)
* 1932 - Gay Talese, American author
* 1932 - Al Worden, American astronaut
* 1933 - John Anderton, English footballer
* 1934 - Earl King, American musician (d. 2003)
* 1934 - Eddie Fenech Adami, President of Malta
* 1934 - King Curtis, American saxophonist (d. 1971)
* 1937 - Juan Pizarro, Major League Baseball pitcher
* 1938 - S. Ramachandran Pillai, Indian communist leader
* 1943 - Gareth Hunt, English actor (d. 2007)
* 1945 - Gerald Davies, Welsh rugby player
* 1945 - Pete Postlethwaite, English actor
* 1949 - Joe English, American drummer
* 1949 - Paulo César Carpegiani, Brazilian footballer and coach
* 1951 - Benny Ayala, baseball player
* 1952 - Vasco Rossi, Italian singer
* 1953 - Dan Quisenberry, baseball player (d. 1998)
* 1954 - Dieter Bohlen German composer
* 1955 - Rolf Benirschke, American football player
* 1955 - Mario Coutinho, Brazilian physician
* 1955 - Miguel Ferrer, American actor
* 1956 - Emo Philips, American comedian
* 1956 - Mark St. John, American musician, former member of Kiss
* 1957 - Carney Lansford, American baseball player
* 1960 - James Spader, American actor
* 1962 - Garth Brooks, American singer
* 1962 - Eddie Izzard, British actor and comedian
* 1962 - David Bryan, American musician (Bon Jovi)
* 1965 - Jason Gedrick, American actor
* 1965 - Chris Rock, American comedian and actor
* 1967 - Richie Burnett, Welsh darts player
* 1968 - Peter Bondra, Ukrainian-born hockey player
* 1968 - Sully Erna, American singer (Godsmack)
* 1969 - MsMamma, Photographer, Blogger, Soon to be Nun
* 1969 - Yves Racine, Canadian ice hockey player
* 1972 - Alex Bassi, American race car driver
* 1972 - Robyn Lively, American actress
* 1974 - Steve Nash, Canadian basketball player
* 1974 - J Dilla, also known as Jay-Dee, American hip-hop producer (d. 2006)
* 1975 - Wes Borland, American guitarist (Limp Bizkit)
* 1975 - Alexandre Daigle, National Hockey League player
* 1977 - Paul Comrie, Canadian ice hockey player
* 1978 - Ashton Kutcher, American actor
* 1978 - Daniel Van Buyten, Belgian international footballer
* 1978 - Endy Chávez, baseball player
* 1978 - David Aebischer, National Hockey League goaltender
* 1979 - Cerina Vincent, American actress
* 1979 - Jon Leicester, American baseball player
* 1983 - Christian Klien, Austrian formula driver
* 1983 - Georgios Gougoulias, Greek footballer
* 1985 - Tina Majorino, American actress
* 1985 - Clara Bryant, American actress
* 1986 - Deanna Casaluce, Canadian actress
* 1988 - Ai Kago, Japanese singer
* 1989 - Louisa Lytton, British actress
* 1991 - Rachel Sibner, American actress

Who would have thought, Charles Dickens, John Deere, Emo Phillips, Ashton Kutcher and me, all sharing the love? Aquarians unite! We must take over!

Call Me Sugar (Cube)

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict.
One moment you're in your own little happy universe...
And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

Those About to Rock

This morning at Nan's

Holden brought his geetar

While Snowflake brought
Pee Wee

After a little geetar envy

Holden Passed the Torch


And Snowflake said
Thank you, thank you very much.

Queen of the Castle

Yesterday morning I had a giant size cup of BK skank coffee. It's like the muddy bitter bottom of a sludge pit. Ten o'clock pm rolls around and I'm all alive and alert. Snowflake went to bed but I was too excited.

I always said I would never have any of that tacky kids crap in my yard, especially since I have this really peaceful and cool pergola haven. It must have been my good nature and waxing nostalgic about childhood.

I began to search for a pirate playhouse for Snowflake. Actually, it began with a sandbox search and then I thought, I pick up enough dog shit without having to deal with the neighborhood army of wild cats that control the 'hood. Why would I want to put out a jumbo litter box for them?

There are some really amazing and cool playhouses out there for people with mega dinero. I wish I had a hunky helpful handyman willing to do a trade. Sexual favors for a playhouse. I thought, there should be a show like that, not staring me, but someone in their thirties called "This Old Whore". Let's see what she can get done to her love shack in a year's time by bartering her bod.

What was I thinking when I ordered him this? Maybe I was high. Maybe I was imagining myself as Rapunzel. In any case, it's cute, and relatively cheap compared with the one I wanted.

I'm tossing and turning, thinking about where I'm going to place this monstrosity, who's going to help me unload it from the back of the shipper's truck(end of truck delivery only) and who's going to help me erect this shrine of personal disgust. Should I plant a big hedge of Arbor Vitaes in front of it so I don't have to look at it? Should I drink margaritas in the tower after Snowflake is in bed? Smoke a fattie? Oh the possibilities.

Now I'm thinking, my friends didn't call me "Queenie" for nothing.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Wednesday, April 25, 2007


Snowflake received a postcard from Varanasi today. He's gotten them from numerous countries around the world but they usually lack the authenticity of foreign postage. This time it was actually sent FROM Varanasi and not Miami. The Godfather may as well be his Auntie Mame.

Important Work (Golden)










Tuesday, April 24, 2007

For You (Whom Ever You Are)

Before the ice caps melt and the polar bears disappear
I want to find you.
Before the firey sun causes third degree burns on human flesh
I want to find you.
Before the earthquakes take a chunk of the coast
I want to find you.
Before my hair turns gray and my face creases like leather
I want to find you.
Before everything sags and I can barely hear or see
I want to find you.
Before the wild Honey Bees go away and flowers cease to bloom
I want to find you.

What is a world without honey or flowers or you?

Something Sweet

I can't rant forever, 'scuse me while I kiss the sky.

Suck on This

I know why I'm single. It's because I can't handle the bullshit of the male ego. I can't believe after all of these years it's like being back on the playground. Mr. Big likes you so he's going to act like a complete asshole. Where I live the men are afraid of me because I probably make more money than them, have a college degree and have an opinion. Screw it. I will be the old bat who lives in the house on the corner with 100 pugs and as many vibrators and dildos to match.


J and LaLuna were wondering about the culinary delights one may encounter when pouncing on my fair city. It's all underbelly, ladies. Most denizens are buffet sniffing hogs who equate gargantuan quantities of food with the acme of greatness. Luckily there are a few places to chow. They're good, but I wouldn't nominate them for the Michelin Guide. Here is my list of what Snowflake would call "Flavor Cravers".

I love Prima Deli located downtown. They make the tastiest vegetarian wraps. Everything is simple and fresh, fresh, fresh. It's your typical sandwich/coffee shop, but they do everything well. Plus there's a cute young guy working there and I'm all about the eye candy.

If I want atmosphere, I go to the Peking. Located in the grand ball room of an old hotel, the soaring gilded ceilings and dim lighting(hey, what just flew across your face?) are cozy, romantic and reminiscent of a time long ago(in a galaxy far, far away where you can actually GET great food). I stay simple with a dish a pan fried noodles with lots of chili and soy sauce.

If you're a hungry old skool carnivore, my brother would recommend The Wagon Wheel. Here you'll find a crotchety old couple who have the best vodka bar and jazz collection in town. Excellent quality meats. My favorite accoutrement here is not the food, but the fake ponyskin covered sofa in the lounge. My brother raves about their Wild Rice Soup. Salad is vintage 40's roadside with a slab of Iceberg and your choice of French, Thousand Island or Bleu Cheese served in one of those stainless dressing triads. You'll feel like an outsider as the chef(their son,he's like 50) and the waitress(the mother, about 79) stare at you from the open kitchen where they cook everything over a genuine charbroiler. Don't plan on having a drink after dinner, either.

Another place I like because the food is alright and they have choices for vegetarians is The Hiawatha. It's located next to the railroad tracks downtown and you probably wouldn't be able to find it unless you asked someone. Excellent Asiago Cheese Spread w/ crostini. Perfect stuffed 'shroom caps. In addition, it's an excellent place to watch the local sixtysomething Rat Pack get shit-faced and act like they're still in high school.

There is a new place that opened called The Wright Place. This is located in a historic home 'downtown'. See, everything IS great when you're downtown. I purchased a gift certificate for my bro for this place for our birthday's earlier this year. He said it was excellent.

I may get to go when Snowflake turns 18. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Not for the Boys

Is there anything sexier than a handsome man walking his dog? Yeah, baby.

Industrial Relics

Still Shiney

Painted by the School of the Blind(same group of Joe's who did my windows)

I'm not worried.

Sunday, April 22, 2007


passion tea
Tea that is.

I have GG to thank for this little obsession. She introduced me to it last year when she was pregnant. It is de-lish. Highly recommended for sunny days at the park.

Yes, we were at the park. It's really gorgeous- lots of trails, an island, the river etc. I swear to gawd, it was like a prison break reunion. This mumbling little snot faced blonde two year old boy played alone until his yellow, jagged tooth pappy came to retrieve him for some cake. There is so much more to say, but why bother? It was a creepy weird scene and good exposure for Snowflake. 'Cause we know it takes all kinds.

Friday, April 20, 2007

More Talk, Less Penis?

One of the big decisions I struggled with when I was pregnant and knew I had a little boy arriving was whether or not to circumcise him. When I asked my doctor about it she said,

"Heidi, in the sixteen years I have practiced here, no one has asked me the questions you do. People here just assume it is done and they are surprised when they have to sign the release form. I have one other patient, a European lady who is choosing not to do it."

My mother said,

"You HAVE to do it. Your brothers were circumcised and so is your father. That's just gross."

My father said,

"I'm sure you'll make the decision that is right for you." I think this is one of the most comforting things my dad has ever said to me.

I read until I was sick of reading about how we are the last country who routinely circumcises its baby boys. About how it stops cancers and diseases. About how the Victorians introduced it as a deterrent to masturbation. For every argument there is for it, there is an equal one against it. I read about how this removes a very sizeable part of the skin that becomes the penis. I read stories about guys having issues that their sons wouldn't look like them or what would happen in the locker room. What would the girls think? Your body is not something you should feel inferior about, especially your penis. Not something you want to think about at the tender age of zero.

My co-worker Paco reassured me by saying,

"Heidi, if someone is staring at you in the locker room, THEY have the issue. I wouldn't do it if I had a son."

I decided not to and then I was going to and then I talked to The Godfather and he encouraged me not to as well. I didn't do it. I couldn't do it. Even though the whole floor knew he was the one little boy not going under the knife, a new nurse came in with the release form. She didn't know.

When I heard the wild howls coming from the nursery the next day, I knew I had made the right decision for me. I have no religion telling me to do this, so what right did I have to remove a perfectly healthy and normal part of his body? I was happy with my decision.

Wednesday Snowflake had his three year check up. Everything is fine, except for the fact that he is overweight according to the CDC charts from 2000. His doctor reassured me there was nothing to worry about- he's healthy, active and looks fine. Parents do worry though.

Next subject, his penis. She looked at it and said that the skin is still quite tight and at this point THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. There's that damn phrase again.

Some baby books say to start stretching the skin back. If you do this before the skin is loose enough, it can get stuck behind the head resulting in excruciating pain. Other sources like Dr. Sears and Dr. Spock tell you to relax and let nature take its course. It will happen on its own. By the time they are five or so they should learn how to clean themselves and take proper care of their unit. I'm good with that, but you won't find me hunched over the tub trying to skin the weiner dog. That's just beyond me.

She said that if it doesn't loosen up he may have to be circumcised between a certain age. Again, don't worry. Frick n' frack! I felt bad because I can't seem to get anything right. I felt like I was doing the right thing and it was. I just hate to think of him having to go through that experience now, knowing that someone is going to alter his body and the pain he may encounter. I wish for the best.

We never know if the decisions we make are the 'right' ones. We can only hope they are.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

High Five!

The girl/SuperMom who manages to hold her universe togther with the utmost grace was doing the latest meme and sent me five interview questions at my request. What the heck.

1. What flavor Jelly Bellys do you pick out to eat first? With such a plethora of sugar buds to choose from you'd think everyone had a favorite. I'm not a huge Jelly Belly fan, but I would usually pick out the Buttered Popcorn or the Pear. And those spiced jelly beans, gag me.

2. What is the last thing you do before you go to bed at night? Beyond brushing, flossing and overall night beautification in futility, I tell Snowflake his ritual story which usually involves the park, The Chidler, a blueberry grove, a few gnomes baking underground and some type of water feature. Sometimes everyone in the neighborhood stars. It's complicated. The night always ends with I you.

3. Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip? They totally gross me out in their pure forms. I didn't even try salad dressing until I was 21 and hungover coming back from Spring BReak in Ol' Mexico. We stopped at Embers and my compadre ordered french fries with Ranch dressing. The world changed for me in that moment. I still don't eat them on anything right out of the jar, but if they make something de-lish, okay then.

4. If you could go back to school for anything, time and money being of no importance, what career would you go for. I would become a furniture designer or an architect, no question. My brain is dysfunctional when it comes to things mathmatical, so to attempt it in this life would be torture for me.

5. You received two round trip tickets to anywhere in the world for 2 weeks. Where are you going and who are you taking? I'm heading to Japan with Snowflake, no question. We may have to stay a little longer, like six months or so. China is so close, let's just make it an even year in the Orient. Although I know very little about the history, it is an area I have been drawn to since I was a little kid.

Would you like me to interview you? I'm down with that so if you're interested:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” (If I don't have your email address already, leave it in the comment section or click on my profile and send me an email)

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Now THAT'S Entertainment

As it is, I rarely watch television. When I do, it's usually Snowflake's hardcore kiddie collection which includes a few Wallace & Gromit dvds, The Wizard of Oz, Monsters Inc., Racing Stripes and of course the entire Pee Wee Herman Library. Did I mention I bought him his own Pee Wee doll for his birthday? To see the two of them cuddle is surreal.

I would definitely watch 'Dancing With the Stars' if I knew Heather Mills would have a horrible accident in which she somehow impaled herself on her own detached leg's stilleto. To the eye, to the crotch, it makes no difference to me, you Beatle Pesticide, you. I was thinking, if you'd really want me to watch this show, this would be my list of suggested stars.

1. Crispin Glover ( I want "River's Edge" Crispin Glover, or David Letterman high kicker on crack Crispin Glover. )

2. Mick Jagger (Swirly hips get your script for arthritis meds, cause you're a little stiff and I don't mean hard.)

3. Ralph Macchio (where are you Daniel-son? Can you still high kick? Do you have all your hair?)

4. Billy Jean King (because I read that Elton John wrote 'Philadelphia Freedom' for you and your tennis team bitches in the 70's. I want to see you dance with a man and make him your be-otch.)

5. John McEnroe (My tennis love god. Tatum did it, why can't you? FUCK!)

6. Grace Jones (You sculptural black living work of art. I know you have to be waiting to kick ass and you will.)

7. Melissa Gilbert or the chick who played Nellie on 'Little House on the Prairie'(Okay both of you and throw in the guy who played Alphonso too)

8. William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy, preferably as a couple. Give them all the professional guidance they need, practice and lots of advanced notice.

9. Courtney Love ( I hate you. I love you. Gastric Bypass or not. You can totally redeem yourself here and become a shining role model for single mothers everywhere. ps... gotta joint?)

10. Jack Black ( Jack, everyone loves a funny guy, especially me.)

Who would you pick?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Monday, April 16, 2007

A Good Day

It was a really beautiful day today. Snowflake was so sweet and cooperative, I felt like I was tripping on some sugar cubes(this the 180 from a hellion flinging a poop rake at his friend's face yesterday afternoon, somehow stopping short of blinding him). Pure sweetness.

I went to the office and got a few things done so I could go missing for a few hours tomorrow morning. We went to the lake and SF and I took a long walk down the winding road, late in the afternoon. The sun was golden and made any shade more intense.

The water and pines were the color of a 1950's post card. We walked around at an abandoned resort and looked in curtainless windows, ringing doorbells no one would answer. Wide white steel siding doesn't fade over time in the sunlght. It looks the same year after year.

I found a petrified rock that reminded me of a skull. I put it in my pocket. I stole it. Who would miss it? Slightly smaller than a softball, it would make a perfect primitive weapon.

I showed him some fungi that was growing high up on a dead birch tree, curly bark peeling away in layers and branchless. We had a good day.

He stayed at my parents tonight so I am alone. I was going to watch a movie, but instead found an old folder of my 'writing' from freshman year. I had this amazing teacher named J.D. Whitney. I saw him walking his black lab a few weeks ago and he smiled as I drove by. He wouldn't have known me, he's just one of those nice people who smile when a car drives by in their neighborhood. I'm looking at my stuff and I was so descriptive and so out of my mind. The fantastical stories I wrote were so far out. I liked to write from the male point of view.

My professor read this crap and actually encouraged me in a positive way, even going so far as to give me articles that he thought would inspire me. The poems were awful. Free verse of the worst kind. Prose, oh puh-lease. I wrote about a guy fucking his 320 pound German teacher in a drunken haze(title: From Drunk to Monk). I was the world's first test tube baby. And I interviewed a burned out hippie named "Bonger"(how original is that, yet Whitney liked the 'energy' of the piece) and so many more rediculous stories.

I feel fucked up sometimes. Like I've blown it. I'm not a writer although I wanted to be one. I'm a mother though I never expected to be one. I love my boy even though his haircut makes him look like Rush Limbaugh. I don't have any idea of what I'm doing or what I am going to do. I'm terrible with money. I looked at myself and thought about how much I've aged. I wish I was made out of white steel siding. I acknowledge this in me. I had a good day.

Sunday, April 15, 2007



Jimmy VanWinkle

little h
It's six years later...

Jimmy with his son, Holden. May 2006

Wake-ee, Wake-ee Jimmy.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Hot Summer Night by Frank

On a hot cool summer spring night day
Would you offer your throat Flexi to the wolf pug with the red roses nylabone-ses?


You were licking your lips I mean ass I mean jowls and your lipstick nose was shining...*


Same day in my backyard. Never the same.

She's Having a Baby

"Hello dahling!

I saw my Dr. yesterday and all seems well "down
under". Ye Old Cervix is still short and stubby (just
like mamma) but is still holding tight! The
contractions are still happening, but I guess my
uterus is a lot like me - it likes to be prepared!!
So, I am officially off of bed rest, returning to work
half days on Monday. Which, is probably why I
couldn't sleep!! Woke up thinking about work at here I am at 5 am on the computer, mind
racing, uterus contracting, reviewing my to-do-list.

I did go and vote for your blog!! So although I am
irrational at this early hour, at least I am being
productive! You do have some great photos on there!
I am going to go back right now and try to bring up
some of your archives so I can see True's haircut.

Have yourself a lovely Friday. I will be around all
day and all weekend if you feel like chatting! Miss
you and love you!

- C

-An email from my sweet and hilarious friend who apparently is on the verge of serious nesting. She's NOT stubby, she's petite and gorgeous. She's having a baby. I think she should have a blog. Love you, girlfriend!-

Friday, April 13, 2007

Thursday, April 12, 2007

The Bird

the bird

You Like Me, You Really Like Me

My site was nominated for Best Photography Blog!
For some reason, when I'm caving to the pressure of being a sexually frustrated single mother and delusional photographer, something zings into my inbox, and it's not a penis.

You can imagine my delight and giddiness when I returned from a quick trip into the countryside to drop off Snowflake like a very naughty stray dog you regret bringing home(he luckily fell asleep and what satisfaction is there in leaving a sleeping baby three year old at the side of the road?).

When I returned and checked my email, there was a note from Mommy is the New Black, informing me she had nominated me for a Blogger's Choice Award for Best Photo Blog.

Thanks, you Stylin' multi-tasking mamma! She was also nominated for Best Shopping Blog.

I was shocked. I replied to her that my blog is a virtual junk drawer of hidden delights. I love to take photos. It's the one thing that causes me no stress. Thanks to her I am refreshed and reminded that I need to take lots of chill pills, often.