Friday, August 31, 2007

Goodbye, August

Farewell, Summer. On to September and maybe, a few more weeks of warmth and glow.

Woodsmoke and crunch.

Halloween and Thanksgving.

Snowblowing, Winter and Christmas...

A New Year and the day of my Solar Return(when the moon is in the seventh house)

Spring blossoms and a brand new four year old.

Memorial Day. Don't cry.

Hey, it's already Summer again.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

You're So Cute When You're Angry


Being the procrastinator that I am, I finally got around to ordering a few necessities for Snowflake and his first voyage into *academia*. I really wanted to get him a randosero. I had no idea they were so freaking expensive. The most inexpensive one I could find was a synthetic model available from Modern Seed for $169. It's quite cute, but there is no way in hell I'm paying that kind of ching for plastique.

So what did I get him?

I got him this:

Pretty sweet. I was so tempted to get The Scurvy Pirate model, but I thought this was perfect for my little monkey who just adores Curious G.

I knew the day would come when I'd have to pack him a lunch. For the amount you pay at Montessori, everyone still has to bring their own lunch. I remember months ago, J brought my attention to the very cool Bento Lunch Boxes via Vegan Lunch Box. I ordered one up and I think it will motivate me to provide artistical, whimisical lunches for Hellboy.

But of-fricking-course, I waited until yesterday to order all of this fabulosity. I'm sure it won't be here until next Tuesday. Damn. I was able to find something similar to the Bento Box at a local Tupperware store(called a "Lunch'n Things"). It will have to do until the coolest arrives. He also needed a pair of slippers for indoor use. I took an old pair of Robeez last night. They were kind of skanked out so, I stopped at Nicole's and they had this pair of Robeez in Snowflake's size that I've had my eye on. They are black soled Union Jacks for the rebel in him. You can't find them anywhere because they don't even make them anymore. This is the only picture I could find and look out, it's craptastic.

Rock on, Snowflake.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

School, Books & Love

Tonight Snowflake and I went to the Montessori School he will be starting next Tuesday. I'm so happy because he really dug being there for a visit and I loved the vibe. The teachers are so lovely and they're doing such wonderful things this year. There was a parent meeting while the kids played in another room, and I have to say, I felt quite verklempt at certain points... when they said they'd be taking the city bus to the library every other week, making a scrapbook of their year, going to the apple orchard at the end of next month etc.

At the end of the meeting and open house, we grabbed the 'mail' that was in each child's cubby. Along with some notes and a snack calendar, there was the Scholastic Book Order for September. I just finished looking through it and I started to cry. This was always one of my favorite things as a kid. My parents let me order all the books I wanted. Big Sigh I'm not a kid anymore. We will look through this together and I will try to remember that I am a mother now and time goes by way too fast. I can feel a giant lump of love heaving and throbbing in my chest for that little boy. It's overwhelming me right now.

(Snowflake! Quick! Do something naughty!)


I was really psyched to hear that the English behemoth Tesco, was coming to America. Wal-Mart is quaking in their boots, rightfully so. Run for the hills, fuckers.

I love Tesco. Walk into a Tesco in London and smell REAL french bread dough FROM FRANCE, baking in the bakery. Another big fave for me was Tesco's bagged refrigerated soups, especially their Tomato Bisque. YUM! They also have the most fabulous shower gels. I can only hope they incorporate a few of these things here. But what would be really superb, is a ginormous selection of Cadbury products at the holidays...cookies, cakes and chocolates. I can dream.

Does dreaming keep us young? I don't know. According to Joan Collins, sex and lots of it, is the key to eternal youthfulness. She says you should have it as much as you can. A'ight. I'm all for that. It's amazing I haven't dried up and cracked into a million tiny pieces. WTF. What I really need to do is find myself a brand new lover...

Tuesday, August 28, 2007


High winds. No power since 4PM. It's dark. Send wine.



Sunday, August 26, 2007

Vintage '87

Everyone was hanging around at NWO's place and I proposed the idea of posting our Senior Portraits. It's a lot of work digging these old ghosts out for everyone. Since Snowflake is taking a break from destroying my life sleeping, I thought I'd carpe diem. I'm warnin' y'all *right now* that if anyone says I look better now, I will personally come and find you and, and, and, I don't know, buy you coffee? I dare you to join in this fun little reminiscence.xo

Poster girl for Outback Red.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Wanna Sleep Over? (Boudoir Redux)

Black walls, blond floors(I still miss them).

No black lights, Jimmy.


window seat

I have added a string of white lights around the bed area
and some awesome copper crushed silk drapes with chocolate shears tied w/ a funky green sequined trim since this was taken.

rug detail
Handmade by me in Portland, OR circa 1992.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

I Like to Watch


I Think I Wanna Slap Myself

Snowflake and I have been having some issues lately, mostly whacking and sassing. I am so tired of being the stern bitchmaster, I could puke. Where is the fun? Everyday is a new day, kids. EVERYDAY. With that in my heart I sprung out of bed this morning and after delivering Hellboy to Little Explorers, I worked out.

After I finished my Nautilus, I was on the eliptical and "One Flew Over the Cuckcoo's Nest" was on one of the sets. I saw dear old Mr. Cheswick, the man I named The Chidler after. He is "Charleston the Puck of Cheswick." They are all so young, so young. Nurse Ratchett is dare I say, beautiful. THat doesn't change how much I hate her. Die Nurse Ractchett, DIE! Killjoy.

I felt pretty low, even after three miles and 400 calories. I spoke with my mom and she told me that one of the guys that works for us didn't come in today. Last year he and his wife adopted a baby boy. She is now experiencing extreme kidney failure(this is her third kidney and they will not give her another). Things look very, very, bad.

He left a message on the machine at work in tears.

All of the stuff I bemoan and bitch about isn't so fucking bad after all. Let me just get over myself today. Jesus.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Bernard Allison

Bernard Allison









You Make Me Feel (Like a Natural Man)

Few things make me feel more empowered and ballsy than a night with the *Chill*(pathetic, I know) or my beloved Snowblower(yes, it deserves a capital S). This morning I felt total penis empowerment by purchasing a 750 GB Firewire external hard drive for my Mac at 'werk'. I feel free. FREE! Suck on that, just suck it.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

It's 2AM( I Must Be Lonely)

Check out the look on the face of the chick in the striped shirt. I don't know why she swallowed that fly...


Let's move on, shall we? I was thinking if I heeded Jill's advice(which I seem more inclined to do these days with the loss of my job looming over my head like the dank-ass weather we've been having), I could easily become a total Chinaski.

And speaking of 'becoming' more Polish than I already am, I think that I am in no way qualified to use the term *yo*. I'm just not cool enough. On the other hand, if you reverse that *yo* and make it a *oy!* then I am totally down with it.

"Here's to my friends..."

MsMamma, Lately


Because you haven't seen me lately. Did you miss me? This is me on Saturday night, completely cranked up on the Miller Chill after the Big Bull Falls Blues Fest. The adorable scruff in the photo with me is someone they call "sido" or "sea-dough" or it could be "see-doe". I honestly don't know. Look at how gummy I am. What I really dig though, is his funky sexy leather watchband(strap me down) and the way my eyes match his t-shirt. My eyes are THAT green because of all the Chill, yo.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Is It So Wrong...

to add wet washed laundry to the dry load in the dryer just because you're not in the mood to fold the dry stuff at that moment? Is it so wrong to do this until the dryer is stuffed to full capacity and you're finally forced to fold? Sometimes I'll dry those clothes for hours until they're as dry and surprisingly wrinkley crackled as the floor of Death Valley.

Sometimes it just feels right.


A guy walks into the office:

Me: Hi Can I help you?

Him: Yeah, I'm looking for you.

Me: Do I know you?

Him: I know you.

Me: *a flicker of times past rushed through my head* Bill?

Him: Good to see you, Heidi.

It was so amazing to see my old high school friend after 20 years. He looked great. Not only were we newbies at a new strange school, we were in the same Home Room. We loved the bond we had and even went to our Junior Prom together. I remember I had Chicken Kiev and bit into a big funky hunky piece of mysteriosness. He ate my entree for me. I mean, hell, he was paying for it.

I always wondered if I would see him again. He brought his lovely wife and two year old daughter. They have twin boys on the way in November. I'm so happy for them. I'm glad my old friend thought of me. It makes me think of...

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight

Thank you, my friend.

Friday, August 17, 2007

I'm a Little Queen

You get to live the life depicted on any album cover from the 70's. Who is it and why? Even though I was never a fan of Heart, I'm going all Gypsy and choosing "Little Queen." I can totally see myself as the lusty, bewitching bohemian. The crazy and clever traveling minstrels live free. I used to stare at that cover for hours. What does it all mean, mamma? Can I tell you how much I hate the song "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You"?

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Snowflake is the only little dude

Who would go for *hair* in his cake.

*Wheat Free Angel Food Cake my mother made for my granny's 93rd birthday.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Perfect Night (My Little Chelada)

Ahhhhhhhhhhh. The first night on my new mattress. I'm finally done with the boudoir. Miller Chill, how I love thee. And pizza with banana peppers.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Home Improvement

Okay...I'm in the midst of redoing my bedroom. It hasn't been painted since I first bought the house. I have natural blonde oak floors. The trim is painted white(as are the windows who I know were painted by The School of the Blind). The walls are flat black. It's a dramatic room and I think I'm really gonna miss the wombish like feel on a rainy day in there. The new color is going to be a little deeper than the color of Haagen Daz Coffee Ice Cream(my fave ice cream).

I'm a little bummed as I found out that the teacher, Mr. Charles, who I thought would be Snowflake's first Montessori teacher decided to teach elementary this year. Ugh. So, I don't know...

Anyway, I'm off to drop off my cute little bug who is sitting on the couch eating an Amy's Organic apple pop tart. I'll be painting if anyone wants to come over and help. I have to admit, I am a little psyched. I bought a new mattress yesterday and I can't wait to sleep on it. The cool chick gave me a *free* stuffed sheep when I commented on how I always wanted one. Sweet.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Friday, August 10, 2007

Screw You, Marsha

Swiped from J:

You Are Jan Brady

Brainy and a little introverted, you tend to think life is a lot worse than it actually is.
And while you may think you're a little goofy looking, most people consider you to be a major babe.

Again With The Deep Thoughts

What I really love about blogging is that it's sort of like standing around chatting and having a smoke with friends, except there's no actual smoking. xo

My Smile Is My Makeup


I can remember my departed brother telling me on more than one occasion as he cried, that he wished we could go back to the time when we were kids. I feel those words so deeply, so often lately. At the time, Snowflake was years into the future. They never got to meet each other. I'm happy that things have turned around for my Dear Heart and myself. We've had the best week ever, compared to the nightmare of last weekend.

That's the one good thing. On the other hand, I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I'm not a typical 'mommy blogger'. I don't relate to the bitching and whining and pure love of marital bliss. "Men" may as well be a foreign group from the Maldives. I don't speak their language.

I'm gonna lose my job. I was reminded of that again this morning by dear old dad. I don't blame him(ha-double-ha she laughs sarcastically). The housing market sucks and I am ill prepared to face this life without a job and a three year old alone. Sure, everything will be fine. It'll be great. It makes me wish I was a kid again.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Crazy with the Cheese Whiz

Tonight I made some fabulous Morningstar(yeah, I know the fvckers from Kellogs owns them along with those supposed "independent/alternative" asses from Kashi) spicy bean burgers for din-din. I thought I would let the sesame Bagels Forever bagels unthaw over the Michael Graves chromified extra wide four slot toaster(okay, this is beginning to sound like the hungry Polish vegetarian version of American Psycho). I smelled smoke and sure as shit, the bagels were charred and the house reeked of burnt toast.

Luckily, I had more bagels(the buns for the burgers) in the freezer and thawed them delicately. I decided to try the Soya Kaas American Cheddar style vegan cheese slices on our burgers. I unwrapped two and placed them on the fake burgers in the oven. A few minutes later when I removed them along with the "Spud Puppies"(Cascadian Farms organic tater tots), I felt like I was staring at something from another world.

The "cheese" had melted alright. It looked liked a clear piece of Saran Wrap with cheese colored melty goo rippling underneath it. It's been a while since I've tripped on acid and I swore I unwrapped the cheese carefully. I took a knife to poke the layer and make sure I wasn't losing my mind. Weirdness. It melts very strangely and shiny and freaky. It tasted cheese-like and it was an acceptable substitute.

Snowflake said it was the best burger EVER. Sometimes he says just the right thing at the right time.


A few weeks ago Snowflake got his first passport in the mail. Mine was renewed at the same time. I feel psyched not only because we can take off and go anywhere we want to, but because if any 'old debris' floats up from the bowels of the sewer with a renewed conscious and court papers, we can hop on the Silver Bird to Japan(where I've ALWAYS wanted to go and plus, they have no extradition laws on this front). Sayonara, baby.

More Deep Thoughts

There are so many things that can just piss one off. Is it worth it to let your blood pressure rise over retardos who live in their own little world with nary a thought for life beyond their dome? Probably not. Yet, I get a little pissed. Then I think, it's your loss, dipshit.

Chinese Buffet

Although the shrimp are dirty(as in not deveined)

And the ribs are manhandled by the delicate

Nothing is as sweet as a dumpling.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Gerry's Kids

I heard the song "Baker St." on the radio yesterday afternoon as I was zipping along in the heat. There is something about that crazy ass saxophone. It took me back to the tiny little town I grew up in attending St. James School. I felt so glad that we didn't have to wear uniforms like Sacred Heart a few blocks away. In our town there was a Copp's. They sold a variety of things, but mainly everyone got their "music" there.

This is where I bought my first 8-track(Kiss Rock n' Roll Over). And let me not forget 'Captain & Tenille's Greatest Hits on vinyl. Please.

It was of the time when you still went to buy a single 45. One day at school, I was talking to my friend David Kufahl and he mentioned that he bought "Baker St." I thought that was so cool, but really, I think I thought he was cool. He was the class artist, specializing in cartoon figures playing football, baseball etc. What a boy.

I wonder how kids in fourth grade could dig that song now. According to Jade from Chippewa Falls(via Songfacts), "This is the most sentimental of all Gerry Rafferty's songs. It is about a man who dreams of owning a house and living away from his neighborhood, but he is a drunk, and cannot achieve that goal. He drinks to forget what he doesn't have, and never realizes he's a rolling stone with no direction."

I can dig that. But it's the sax, every time. I just don't get enough sax these days.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Monday, August 06, 2007

Sea Change

Yesterday was so depressing. I was lounging on my parents couch reading the arts section of the Milwaukee Journal and came across an article on Jeremy Blake and his partner, Theresa Duncan. Two beautiful and talented young individuals. Dead. Here's a brief one in the NY Daily News. And another more interesting. You could also read this.

When they mentioned that he did a piece for the movie Punch Drunk Love and the cover for Beck's "Sea Change", I immediately remembered his work. It's such a modern tragedy. It made me really quite sad. Some of us pine for not having that kind of connection with someone. Then there are two people who have the love, but don't make it in the world.

They mentioned her blog. I checked it out and it was and is great.

His mother called him a loyal 'caretaker'. How unbearable this world must have felt for him, when only a week after her suicide, he walked naked into the surf never to return to this life again. When I think of that lonely figure walking solitary into the blackness, I realize there is a depth of sadness in life most people never experience. R.I.P. Sweet tragic souls.

Like my friend's dad told me yesterday, "Things could always be worse." He's right.

Chilling Out




Sunday, August 05, 2007

Momentary Lapse of Reason

My friend, The Godfather came home from Miami yesterday and last night we drank two bottles of wine(he brought it). I was shitfaced, ripped, smashed. The new neighbors came over and I gave them a tour of the bungalow. Later on in my stupor I sent a drunken bizarro text message to *someone*. Gawd. I feel like such a dork. I apologize to the Universe and to you.

I just found a Hotwheels in the bottom of a glass of chocolate milk. I feel ill. My only redeeming thought is that today is Sunday. Enjoy.

Saturday, August 04, 2007



Today was the ultimate day from hell with Snowbell, Snowflake, Snowfluke, Snowball(yellow), boy from HELLYEAH. God! After a day like today, I can understand why some animals eat their young. Adios, amigos. I'm escaping with the Three Thieves.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Thursday, August 02, 2007


Scooba Steve!

scooba steve

Scooba Steve attempts to escape from the Philippe Starck toilet in our bathroom. I found Snowflake's impromptu art installation so hilarious, I had to take a picture so it would last longer.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

It's Late

Tonight the moon came up late. It was 10 o'clock and the glowing exposed innards of a giant blood orange hung low in the sky. I think about the things people get pissy over and it blows my mind. In a singular moment of clarity, I see the teensie tinies.

They are so overstuffed, like a cool old chair at the curb. It looks like a great find and you sweat getting it into your car. Maybe the windows are wide open and you don't realize how hideously wretched it is until you get it home and put it in the living room. A strange bug you've never seen before flies out of the cushion as you carelessly invite infestation. It stinks, too.

You haul it back out to your own curb now. But the bugs are still there flailing, like the moments that haunt your mind.

When I Talk...

my squawk sounds like Chewbaca. It cracks and creaks and splits like a boy waiting for his manly voice.

Beyond Therapy

My little brudder's passion in life. He's the 'singer'. They describe themselves as "manic, bi-polar cartoon core". If you like, oh, let's say, anything top 40, you probably won't like them. They did this in a day. Keep on keeping on, Jimmy.

She's a Lady


A few months ago I received a package in the mail from my favorite Manitoulian, Chrissy. Not only is Chrissy the most fabulously well rounded individual I've never actually met, she has great taste in sending little prezzies. She sent Snowflake this kick ass lizard soap from the Manitoulin Soap Factory. I busted it out on Friday.

Chrissy memes me a lot. Although I don't really get into doing them, I will from time to time. Chrissy has given me The Power of the Schmooze, The Rocking' Girl Blogger and The Reflective Blogger badges. If Chrissy were a gorgeous, hot male Swede and meming was something altogether different we'd be meming all the time. ALL.THE.TIME.

I would have packed it up and moved to Manitoulin a long time ago.

If you haven't guessed by now, Chrissy lives on a little island called Manitoulin in Northern Ontario. Chrissy can cook. Chrissy can draw. Chrissy can sing. Chrissy also teaches english as a second language. Chrissy taught in Japan and used to be a vegetarian. She grows fabulous things in her garden and cans them. She helps her hubby with birthing baby cows. Chrissy is totally classy and only uses the word 'fuck' in her emails. Is there anything Chrissy can't do?

I think not. XOXO