Thursday, May 16, 2013

Go Time

Sometimes the hardest thing to do after not writing for so long is to write.  I've been here since my last post, I start writing and then I think... this is pointless, what for?  I suppose it doesn't have to have a point and I think journaling is important so here goes....

It is one month before my wedding.  My last name is going to be Hammer.  Heidi Hammer.  It doesn't have to be, but I feel like it's an upgrade.  I actually thought I would never get married after seven years of being a sole, single parent to Snowflake.  I always thought if I did get married, I would keep my original last name.  Because that is who I have always been.  But I like the name Hammer.  I want to be an HH.

I feel like I should have been documenting this journey, but I got lazy.  Between work and motherhood and relationships, I let it slide.   Snowflake is going to be the Best Man at the wedding.  Unfortunately, he came home a few Mondays ago from school with a parent's worst nightmare, HEADLICE(GASP!) and we shaved his head.  It was his idea.  He went from adorable skater punk to looking like the fat kid in Stand By Me.  It's his chubby boob cheeks he still carries.

We carry on.

Everything we do here, our time is so short.  We hope we make the right decisions.  We fuck up.  As we get older we learn to accept people for who they are.

I chose Botox over extensions.

I *think* it was the way to go.




Saturday, May 04, 2013

Love This

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.
© Max Ehrmann 1927