Thursday, May 29, 2008

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Pugnoir

Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up
high drama with my love pug

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Coulda Been Indiana Jo

I'm taking SF to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull at HIGH NOON. I know it's PG-13, but damn it, I'm gonna be irresponsible for once. There was a time when I contemplated naming him Indiana, after my favorite fictional childhood hunk. SF might have been Indiana Jo(my middle name). Ah, Indiana... I still like it.

JacK Benny (For Chas)

jack_benny
Came back as the frog in my parents pond.

Sunny

sunflower

sunny, yesterday my life was filled with rain.
sunny, you smiled at me and really eased the pain.
oh, the dark days are done and the bright days are here,
my sunny one shines so sincere.
oh, sunny one so true, i love you.

sunny, thank you for the sunshine bouquet.
sunny, thank you for the love you brought my way.
you gave to me your all and all,
now i feel ten feet tall.
oh, sunny one so true, i love you.

sunny, thank you for the truth you've let me see.
sunny, thank you for the facts from a to z.
my life was torn like a windblown sand,
then a rock was formed when we held hands.
sunny one so true, i love you.

sunny, thank you for that smile upon your face.
sunny, thank you for that gleam that flows with grace.
you're my spark of nature's fire,
you're my sweet complete desire.
sunny one so true, i love you. - Bobby Hebb, Nashville, Tennessee 1966

Sunday, May 18, 2008

I Stand Alone

I have a brother who died eight years ago this August. Today was the birthday of his son, newly 14. We went out to his mother's house and hung out, had a nosh and some drinks. I looked through a book of photographs and saw a picture of my brother with his son on his sixth birthday. It made me emotional.

Later, I ended up in the kitchen with his mother and the talk turned intimate.

"Like what if there is no heaven and this is all there is" she said. I told her earlier about my conversation last night with Snowflake.

"If this is all there is then you have to make every moment count" I say.

"Do you think you'll ever get married? Do you want to get married? Because when I left Dan and dated Dave it was weird."

"I can't imagine ever being comfortable enough again to get naked with someone" I said.

"I hear you"(she is a gorgeous woman in every aspect) she says, "with Dan I can really be myself. I can tell him I have to take a shit. There was time when I just finished giving myself a French Manicure and I didn't know if I should have him wipe my ass or tell him not to come near me because I wasn't gonna wipe."

"You're lucky to have that, to be so comfortable and laid back" I smile.

"Yes, but the dude can be too laid back. Like he doesn't plan for his future. I want to be married someday. What about you? Do you want to be married?"

****imagine deer stuck in the headlights here****

"Um, well it would be great to be with someone."

"Well, I can't imagine you married" (OUCH)

Our conversation gets a little deeper (she tells me about all of the patients that don't have family or in case of emergency people) and me a little weepier and just about the time the damn is going to break I blurt out somewhat laughingly,

"I don't want to be alone, the crazy lady on the corner with the dogs and the camera, but I can do alone" I say.

She grabs me and gives me a big hug and tells me that she's here for me. It brings some comfort in this unstable and shrinking world. A world in which I know I can definitely wipe my own ass.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Conversation Hearts

Mommy loves you, I say. You will always be the most important person in my life, even when you're a big man. I will always love you the most.

My beautiful boy(curled up and cuddled on me, his mondo megawatt blues illuminated) says,

Mommy, when you die I'll need another mommy to be nice to me and take care of me.

(lump begins to form in throat)

Hopefully that won't happen for a very long time. I'm sure you'll be a grown man, maybe with babies of your own. Look at Great Granny, she's going to be 94. Maybe I'll live that long and that is a very long time together.

But when you die, I'll be all alone.

You will not be all alone. You'll have Holden and Anthony and Lydia. You'll always have family.(he doesn't believe me, I can tell)

But when you die, I'll be really sad. When you die, I'll cry.
(can eyes really be THIS big and blue and clear)
(he is on the verge of tears...my eyes are beginning to water).

Oh, I know, I know. I hold him closer and tell him I love him again and soon thereafter he falls asleep on my chest like a tiny giant size human kitten.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Every Kind of Mother

what he likes about doughnuts

To everyone out there who has been there for someone when they really needed someone. You may have changed a diaper, wiped away tears or a stinky butt. You've listened without butting in. You've watched mistakes and triumphs. You may or may not be a woman, you may or may not have actual kids of your own, but you're a damn good mother. That's for sure.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Happy Birthday, Ka-stoy-kus!

birthday for kastoykus
Before school this morning.

Who names their stuffed caterpillar Kastoykus? Snowflake, that's who! Upon waking I was informed that it was his antennaed friend's birthday. I also had to change his shirt for the special occassion(he wears SF's t's). He insisted on putting an old party hat on his pal. In addition, I was directed to get a cake with frosting for after school. Who am I to deny a little boy his whimsy?

UPDATE!
DSC01759

*ps...J, you're so right on...it's all about the frosting for SF!

Monday, May 05, 2008

Perspective

100
This is Ewald. He will be 101 this summer.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

mod*mom, honestly

This post is all about one of the coolest chicks I've never met. Not only is she a speedskater with a degree in environmental science, she's a survivor and fighter with sublime taste. She's a web guru and design goddess, bumping tiaras with Maria Shriver(this post is hilarious, READ IT!) and getting friendly with Dwell. Above all, she's a proud mama to mod*tot.

Some may say her blog is all about design. Or maybe marketing with all of her fantastic and unbelievable giveaways. What I love the most about her blog is her dedication to being green and educating everyone in the process. You never really think about how cost is influenced by packaging until you read one of her posts(also happens to be a chance to win some great product) and a sidenote explains how environmentally friendly packaging can "add 18,304 more pouches per truckload, which means they will use 277 fewer truck shipments this year to ship honest kids + honest tea, saving fuel + reducing CO2 emissions."

I won some Honest Beverages! I can't believe it. I can't wait to try it. What great timing. I emailed her and told her she made 'this unemployed mama's Saturday night." I was already a Method girl before I found her, but she totally turned me on to dropps. People REALLY do win on mod*mom's hip and cool website. She'll even send you emails to remind you to enter her intriguing and FREE giveaways. See that swank little icon of hers on my sidebar? You can get your very own! When you get there you might be reminded to squeeze your lemons or you might win something funky and lemon colored. You just never know.

Think of all the good karma + tell your friends about her. Then they'll tell their friends and so on and so forth...just like Farrah Faucett for Faberge Organics. A giant chain reaction of goodness. Thanks, mod*mom! XOXO

FYI: + = homage to mod*mom she's the Queen of +!

Friday, May 02, 2008

Thursday, May 01, 2008

The Lonely Cello

lonely cello
tune

This is the cello I am "recreating" for a project called "The Painted Violin." After these photos were taken, I sanded the bastard down on my driveway. I did got a bit too zealous with my Bosch orbital and took down a corner a bit much. I got sunburned in the process. I'm delicate like that. Anyway, the idea is to create a new piece of art with unplayable instruments. I snagged the ONLY cello so it has to be magnificent.

When completed, all of the pieces will then be shown and bid on for a fundraiser for our local conservatory. I have a few ideas spinning around in my head, but haven't gone any further. I'm thinking that I will be very sad to give it up when it's done.