Love & Tragedy

Kitchen Window Paperweight

Today is the day for Luuvas everywhere, so Happy Valentine's Day all of you lovely lovers out there. Although I may not have a Lover, I have my beautiful Snowflake. He can say "Valentine's" perfectly. It is too precious. I think the last time I had a real Lover for Valentine's was my senior year in college.

Ah, my little Puerto Rican lovebug, Raul. He was the sweetest boy I think I ever dated. He would always answer me, "Si, mi amor", and I called him Raulito. That boy did my dishes, installed a power antenna on my old Saab and truly loved me. I wonder where he is now.

Then there was J. He was completely obsessed with me. He would have done anything for me. He brought me roses every single day, not just Valentine's. This was totally overwhelming to an 18 year old. He literally stalked me in a non-threatening, suffocating kind of way. After we graduated from college he wanted to take me to New Zealand. He's now a famous flyfisherman and married to someone at least ten years younger than him.

How can I possibly forget my favorite paranoid schizophrenic? He didn't flip out until after we were over. He was an incredible creative and highly functioning energetic individual. Let me just say he had boundless endless oomph in the boudoir. Being manic has some perks. He had such a terribly tragic life.

He grew up in Chicago, the son of a heroin addict. Thanksgiving Eve she got into a fight over food stamps with her "friend" and he slit her throat. Rob and his brother were upstairs at the time. Only four years old, he came down to investigate the noise and then ran upstairs to tell his older brother that "Mommy has ketchup all over her neck".

With both parents dead, the boys were sent to live with their father's brother in Florida. He was married with a few kids of his own. He worked for NASA and it was here that they were subject to his sexual abuse. When his Aunt by marriage found out, she didn't believe the boys at first. Eventually, she divorced him and took custody of the boys and moved back to the Northwoods. He worked hard to get through college but it was just too much.

We are seriously talking locked in a padded room, wearing a straight jacket, rocking back and forth with eyes shut as he converses with his family. After that he was never the same.

I was watching the news one night a fews years later when the reporter told me the sad ending to his life. He purposely ran out in front of a car. I'm sure he didn't even know what he was doing. He was 26. God, I hope he's somewhere peaceful now.

I honestly didn't plan on writing about him in such detail. I wanted to keep this light. After remembering him, I just can't seem to get back on the happy horse and write about any others. I wanted to write about Snowflake's Valentine to his Nan. How happy and proud he was when he gave her an adorable cotton candy pink seatbelt bag. Snowflake and I are off to Kindermusic tonight. He's really excited. I am too. It will be a nice Valentine's Day.