I thought I scored, BIG TIME. I found a very cool looking Isaac Mizrahi armoire for my bathroom. Normally eighty big ones, it was marked down to only $39.98. Snowflake and I came home after lunch and I decided to tackle the project. I felt up to the task as I normally like to put things together. This came in a small heavy box that I could barely get into the house myself. I should have known, I should have known.
I open up the box to find a set of instructions eight pages long, a full schematic and a blisterpack of parts with 12 different compartments. It states, "Note:This unit is heavy. Two people are required for assembly." I called a friend to see if he would help me put it together but he conveniently hasn't been answering his phone today. This could be suicide. It reminded me of the time I hoisted a huge Technics speaker up onto a high shelf while balancing on a plastic milk crate.
Even more intimidating to me was a tiny tube of glue that was included for securing fifty million fricking wooden dowels as you pieced it together. I had to call yet another handy friend and have her drop off some carpenters glue as I was fresh out. I put it together in two segments and carried the bottom half upstairs for completion.
I got the stupid bastard assembled and couldn't quite get the door attached with out stripping two screws. In the extra part package they failed to include any of these little fuckers. The "cam set" came apart on one side as it wasn't securely rotated into the locking position. I finally got it all worked out and used every bit of strength I had on those mashed and mutilated screwheads. I'm definitely going to have a cocktail. And no, I will not be going back for the other matching piece as I thought I might earlier.
I'm not even sure I like it now. It's like a big fat white and birchwood elephant sitting in the hallway. But, I did it and I didn't need two people. So what if the door is a bit off. Right now I have that old Target commercial in my head where they'd say "Hello Kitty." I however keep wanting to call the store and say "Hello Shithead" in the same melody.
4 comments:
Uggg, I have a love/hate relation with ready to assemble furniture. I love being able to say "Yeah, built it myself." I hate actually building it.
Growing up, my dad used to build stuff around the house. Most of it was unfinished (not to mean 'unstained, not painted), I mean it wasn't completely finished! It's something I got from him. Love the idea making something, lacking the know-how and drive to get it done.
When we got our house, we were fresh from school and barely making enough dough to buy stuff. Besides, my husband has a cheapness gene that he valiantly struggles against. Therefore, we have many peices of assembly-required bookcases and tv stands. They've all managed to support weight but it was with crossed fingers that we dared to put stuff on them.
I have this nasty habit of decorating when Shogun's at a sales meeting (that was I don't have to 'clear' anything with him). Which meant that when I redecorated his office, I had to drag the buffet and bookcases from Ikea piece by piece upstairs to assemble. Nightmare. I definately feel your pain.
We'd love to see a picture of your handywork!
Here it is. I'm sure it looks easy-peasy to a seasoned pros like yourselves! It's kind of mid century and looked better on the box. Snowflake calls it 'cute' all the time. For that reason alone I have become more fond of the little piece.
I think it looks totally fab! Very different from the picture I had in my head. Love It!
Good job! You know, I was picturing something different also. I was imagining more white, less wood.
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