Saturday, April 22, 2006

Out of Sorts

If I didn't know better I would have thought I drank heavily the night before. Exhausted upon waking, eyes nearly sealed shut with the crusty remains of the night, I felt uneasy, unsettled. I had a strange dream. I was questing after something I couldn't see.

I was going to scour the bungalow as per my monkish Saturday ritual, but something was begging me to go 'up with the people'. The phone rang. It was my brother's GF. I picked her up and the Slaab was loaded with babies and boobs galore. Me the everloving in denial triple venti nonfat white mocha (with whipped)Starbucks junkie/whore, I asked her if she cared for something. Had she ever had a Frappuccino? NO? NO! You must, and right now, it's ON ME! I immediately calmed the fuck down the moment the plastic lid hit my fresh lips. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Bring it on.

Up with the people. You might think a rummage sale is a great place to BE up with the people. You may even find yourself bonding with your local denizens, sharing a common love for the elusive treasure or you may be like me, completely disgusted, feeling like you want to just call it out when you see it.

Rusted out 1986 blue Buick four door sedan sitting curbside. Inside, four children are out of control waiting and wailing for a very bitchy, very fat chick wearing pajama pants and a hoodie, hair up knotted after a morning roll out. Her big bulbous ass is half way up her back. Her mother/friend is diminutive but you don't want to fuck with this broad because she looks mean. She's the kind of woman who drinks Aqua Velva and shits once a week. She has long black hair, a neat appearance save for the pitted potholes in her face, some open and bleeding along her jawbone, a few covered with little band-aids that can't seem to hang on to her oily skin. She is small and sinewy. She's wearing Transitions lenses.

Oldest boy, about 11 or 12 and very cute, runs after and grabs four year old sister by braid, picks her up and slams her forcefully into the car. Meanwhile other little sister in back seat is trying to get out of the car. Said older brother point blank bitch slaps her HARD in the face and then says, do you want to get out and see your mom? Then stop crying. Audible melee ensues. None of these small kids were restrained in any way as they shambled away.

It made me think about SF and how much I treasure him. How much I love and respect him even though he's only 2 years old. I felt bad for those fucked up brats as they drove away in their 360 degree unsafe situation. I'd like to think that you can rise above anything, but how can you when you're surrounded and suffocating in a big pile of stanky shit? Flies breed in filth and rot and the problem just seems to keep multiplying like that DAMN 70's Farrah Faucett commercial(it applies to so much in life).

Suddenly I remembered my uneasy dream, I told my companion that I had this dream about chasing a man through the woods. In the distance I could just barely make out the glint of his silvery hair as the moonlight danced off his head underneath the thorny bramble. I needed to get to him. I never caught up to him and I never stopped pursuing. I told her he was the Life Expert.

She laughed at me but I knew he'd have the answer.



, , ,

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love me some good rummaging, but the people it brings out...sheesh, get me out!

Anonymous said...

Now that is the kind of writing I love from you...I can totally picture the scene...PWT in a beat up ole car doing the garage sale circuit on a Saturday morning...sounds HOT! You are so talented...we just need to find someone to publish your stuff.

Get this...it was almost surreal....I am at Halouver yesterday sunning my balls and enjoying an early SoFla summer day at the beach hanging with my friend Drew when out of nowhere this African American guy, who is walking down the beach, starts ranting and raving about the "white" people...he kindly makes a side remark excusing Latins and "brown" people...saying how he can steal $10 from Walmart but the white people steal $10 million...he carried on for about 10 mintues saying fuck you white people...blah blah blah...the funny thing is Drew and I somehow ended up sitting in the "bear" section of nudie beach...now I like my muscle bears but these were BIG guys...anyone one of them could have grabbed this guy and kicked his ass...but we all sort of just looked at him in amazement and then went about our own private conversations and sunning our stuff...that is what I love about Halouver and Miami in general...everyday is a freak show!

The other day at Starbuck's...now I am linking my post with your Starbuck's addiction...I am waiting to pull out of the parking lot when this guy in a brand spanking new Mercedes CLS (I love that car!) starts arguing with a guy driving a faded red Taurus or something like that...two white guys throwing slurs at each other....I was pissed cuz I couldn't get out of the parking lot...but I just stood there and watched...laughing to myself how funny it was....Has society gone mad? Have we lost all our social morals?

Stay tuned....

Anonymous said...

Aw Paul, you need to start your own blog and write about that crazy shit! Seriously!

Anonymous said...

GF-er,
The scene was horrible. I purposely described this scene with minimal detail, even though it abounded with much more. I think it's funny that you assumed it was PWT. I guess one might considering the area, but I did not want to give the piece a 'color', if you will. I leave the description of the scene up to individual imagination. I'm glad you enjoyed it. My heart broke for those kids.

If you are taught bad behavior from a young age, you never seem to know differently. I mean you might feel like you get stared at in public like these kids did or certain behavior is expected at school, but what is normal is bad behavior. Take for example the former crackhead that used to work for our company.

He was a little shifty, we knew it, but he did work fast(hmmm hard to figure out why). He sold a stolen entertainment center to another one of our employees. He was busted. Last year he was involved in an armed robbery involving his own underage stepson. His newly EX wife was busted for shoplifting $2000 worth of clothing from a department store WITH her sisters! Now, that is PWT!

Parents are supposed to be examples for their children and I just feel so sorry for kids who grow up in these kinds of environments.

Anonymous said...

Oh god, yeah, that's a hard one. I HATE seeing things like this, and it's partly because I don't like to see kids suffer like that, and partly because, like you, I look out into the future and see what is coming. It doesn't help that if you had been in Northern California, I would have assumed you were talking about my first cousin and her brood.

Sometimes the best we can do is to truly treasure our own, I think. Maybe, someday, SF will be friends with kids like this...and they will come to your home and see what a truly nurturing environment can be like, and they will strive for that in their own life. I've seen that scenerio played out a few times, to differing degrees of success. i know that my mom was a role model for several of my friends and boyfriends growing up, because she really listened to us, acted like we mattered, wasn't dismissive or cruel...and there were consequences to our actions, which isn't always the case, as your post so aptly shows.

I'll second the vote for you publishing, though. You write amazingly well.

As for the black guy at the nude beach, I gotta say that while he may have been crazy, he was certainly right about the rich white men ripping us off for MUCH more than his puny $10 at Wal Mart. Not that it makes shop lifting right, but some perspecive would be helpful sometimes, especially in our criminal justice system.

Anonymous said...

J- You know what I think about your mamma! ;) I'm attempting to fill the mold they broke when they made her! I do want True to know what life is like for as many people in our society as possible so he has perspective and knows that kids like him suffer terribly at times(not like my cousins 11 year old or neighbor kid who got iPods recently). Don't get me wrong, "stuff" is fun and good, but it's not something I want him to "need" or "expect" or strive for as one of his goals.

My goal is for him to be as happy and well-adjusted as possible.

Your WM comment is right on. I despise WM and avoid it all costs. I am a Target whore and honestly it is the SAME thing. just more dressed up and sly for the seduction of the 'savvy' consumer. I hate the fact that the criminal punishment for the possession of powder cocaine(a white people's kick) is often less severe than the punishment for 'the rock' form. It doesn't get much more B/W than that.

Anonymous said...

Will you still like me if you know that Maya has an iPod, even if it's just a shuffle? My husband is a Mac whore...

Anonymous said...

Ha Ha... I would still like you if Maya wore a Mini Blackglama with Gucci loafers. I know that addiction all too well. ;)

Anonymous said...

OMG...didn't know such a thing existed...thanks for the link. Too gross!!! Now I know what to blog about today...my fur coat!