Saturday, April 29, 2006

Ass Talk

This afternoon I was hanging out at my parents reading more information on fasting. I'm proud I've reached my goal of Saturday morning. That is six days of fasting! I feel awesome and I'm not just blowing smoke up anyone's imagined ass here.

I feel so good that I have decided to continue. Anyway, I was reading and thought I'd try a 'salt flush'. It basically keeps your intestinal tract moving. It's two teaspoons of sea salt dissolved in a quart of spring water. I swigged it down no problem(I always knew my love of dirty martinis would come in handy one day. It was like drinking light olive juice.) and waited. And waited. I was thinking maybe this WAS bullshit. I read someone's blog about it not working. Well, they never updated. I will. It AIN'T no bullshit, honey.

SF was passed out in the bottom of my cart at TJ Maxx and I felt the spirit move me. It was high time to skeedaddle. I made it home and WOW-WEE. It's a definite flush allrightie-o. A parting o' the cheeks. Whoa there, matey! I felt like I had Niagara Falls coming out of my ass. Or I was the summer fire hydrant being turned on full blast. Kersplooey! Just when I thought I could make it downstairs, the warning shot returned and I had to sprint back to the bathroom.

I have learned that my body can renew itself. I believe I am going through a very normal and theraputic process. I dig eastern philosophy and Yogis. I hate how whiney people in this country are about being hungry. We are overindulged in so many ways. Over time we ruin our natural predispositions to the taste of healthy foods. Oh hell, maybe I'm just talking out of my ass.


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10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the fast! You've inspired me to try it. I've toyed with the idea of it for quite some time.

Shogun will be eating with colleagues all week so this would be a good time.

Wow, remind me not to try the salt water thing until a weekend. Can you imagine nature calling (or roaring) during work?

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm surprised there was anything to clean out after a week of no food...maybe the juice you've been drinking? It's amazing to me that you're feeling so good that you want to continue...obviously a totally different experience than I had the one time I tried it. Pretty exciting!

Anonymous said...

Good luck Lotus! Yes, look out because you will BLOW, bigtime. Maybe even more so as they say meat eaters systems are more toxic than vegetarians. I hope you have a good experience!

Over a lifetime, the walls of your intestines and colon become bulit up with junk from digestion. Seriously, some people have pounds of undigested junk stuck inside them. I think they removed a scary amount from John Wayne way back. The salt flush also intends to remove this mucously impacted layer from the intestinal wall as it loosens during fasting.

I am excited. I've never been really radical and it's kind of cool to be doing this and feeling so physically good. I really don't mean to be trippy when I say maybe it will open the doors of my perception. I'm all for trying new things.

Anonymous said...

I have been thinking about what you said, and in other posts as well, about people in this country being out of step with their apetites...I agree with that wholeheartedly. I do find myself eating sometimes, because it is time for lunch, rather than because I am hungry. I do find myself eating crap, rather than food that would nourish me, because I like it. Cheetos, a glass of wine more than I should have, this kind of thing. I am thinking of this stuff lately...and trying to decide what to do about it. My family has all kind of food issues. My grandmother is practically anorexic, my mom and uncle are obese, and so on. I don't want to find myself in any of those situations, and obsessing about food can do that to a person. So, how to change my habits without feeling deprived? That's what I have to figure out. Perhaps the answer is to just decide, like you with vegetarianism, that I don't eat those things anymore. Not that they are forbidden, but that I CHOOSE not to eat them. Hmmm. We'll see.

Anonymous said...

Damn, I love Cheetos, especially Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Oh, I hear you sista, I hear you. I'm no saint. Just because I'm a vegetarian doesn't mean that I make the healthiest choices, either. I guess we just have to come to terms with moderation, eh? I would love to be that person who makes the best choices for my body, but the fact is, you can everything in your power to eat healthy and still be hit by some stupid broad talking on her cell phone. Therefore at this point, I will still allow myself say, my beloved pizza and ice cream and chocolate or whatever I want. Just not on a regular basis. Life can be long, but it can also be way too short.

Anonymous said...

Alright, I know this is gross but J's question has me wondering. With the salt flush, I'm assuming "stuff" came out? Not just water, right?

Anonymous said...

Lotus- Don't worry I am way past any 'gross out' issues concerning bodily functions. I think that overall I am not a very 'toxic' person. I haven't had any real freaky results... I would describe it as a little pebble-y, but then again I can't be sure because I couldn't see through the rest of the water. I am doing it again tonight. Some people describe majorly stringy stuff coming out etc. Some people actually crap over a piece of cheesecloth draped over a bucket to rinse and examine the contents. Many people think that you can pass gallstones, kindney stones etc. through fasting and flushing. How are you doing? Did you fast at all? I feel great, but I think I'm getting a little BORED. I have decided that I will probably fast for 15 days total and then do 30 days in the fall. We'll see.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I didnt realize you were still fasting! I didn't start since I've been working with my boss this week. It's slightly stressful since I don't like having someone hovering over me while I work, sitting in my car all day, etc. I'm going to start next week. I'll be out of town so it'll be easier, no one to worry about feeding but myself.

I'm doing the salt flush tomorrow morning, though and hopefully again Friday and Saurday. I'll keep you all updated.

Anonymous said...

How long between the drink and the explosion, would you say? Inquiring minds want to know... :)

Anonymous said...

Some recipes call for warm spring water but I used chilled water(your body has to warm it up so it takes longer than if you used warm to flush through). It was aprroximately 2.5 hours later. Yowza.