This post was inspired by J who was inspired/forced to list six weird things about herself. This should be right up my alley. I will skip the already known facts about my fond attachmment to the Oral B electric toothbrush. Just don't deny yourself, that's all I'll say about that.
1. Since we're talking about carnal pleasures, I didn't have sex, lose my virginity, ride it, etc. until I was 21 years old. Yep. My younger brothers had sex before me. Family weirdo, late bloomer. Actually, I don't think it's weird. I just wanted to wait until I found someone worthy of my "maidenhead". He turned out to be a Puerto Rican named Raul(AKA - first college BF). I have no regrets and it is something I recall very fondly. He was a wonderful first boyfriend. Thanks Raulito, wherever you are!
2. My first celebrity crush was Steve Martin. I remember going down to "The Jock Shop" and having a custom baseball tee with royal blue sleeves hot pressed with the classic image of him in his white suit with a fish peeking out from inside. It was one of those kind of transfers that didn't allow you to breathe. You know, right where the print is you get extra, extra sweaty.
3. In college I became obsessed with Pee Wee Herman. I actually had a huge flying cutout of him in my apartment. Somewhere in my college archives there is a picture of me trying to tongue him. I could have cared less that he was caught jacking off. I mean, hey, I'm right there with him. Everybody does it.
4. I tripped on acid when I was 25 for the first time at a Soundgarden concert. It wasn't just any old trip though. Being uninitiated, I dropped four tabs and tripped well into the next night, coming down gently at the Pink Floyd concert. Earlier in the day(5am to be precise) I hurled a weird indescribable substance at a park near the zoo. I could hear the lions yowling. A very JAPPY middle aged mamma came jogging by in big Versace glasses and floppy brim Vuitton hat with her poufy Bichon. She didn't notice at first he was feasting on my mystery expulsion. "No Muffy" She cried, yanking the little dog away. Later on in the day I met a totally flaming artist wearing a dickie and beret in the August swelter who drew pictures of Barbie dolls and he told me " Girlfriend, you are on fire!" in that particular flamboyant and feminine way. Gross, weird and totally true.
5. I was listening to the radio one morning and there was a spot of trivia about how a certain percentage of Americans have done this particular thing. Thinking, thinking...listening to callers answers. Turns out it was "taken nude pictures of themselves for someone". I laughed but then on the way to work it hit me, I realized that I did too! I looked damn good but I wonder where they are now.
6. In the past I used to wake up at exactly 3:15 am every morning. This was directly related to The Amityville Horror. We're talking the 1979 "the sow is mine" version. I had parents who let us watch alot of R rated horror movies.
Don't you feel better about yourself now?
virginity, Steve Martin, acid trip, Pee Wee Herman, The Amityville Horror, nude photos, weird
3 comments:
Any possibility that Raulito has copies of these nude pix you took?
I remember those t-shirt shops where the iron on transfers cost more than the tee. Everyone here in san diego used to get their name written in Old English font, ala Gwen Stefani. I think those transfers only lasted a few washings before the glittery top layer started to wear away.
Wow, do people really exist who go jogging in floppy designer hats? Those women crack me up. In our upscale neighborhood, La Jolla, you used to find these rich old bags wearing designer velour track suits that were embellished with these crazy gold and silver doodads, often with gold lame keds or high heeled sandals and their Chanel sunglasses. Made me happy that I wasn't so rich that I didn't give a damn how I looked.
I had a tshirt with a white horse, and my stupid nickname at the time, Blondie. Not because I'm cool like Debra Harry...because I'm blonde. Lame, I know. :)
Love your list. Esp. the acid trip. Never done the stuff myself, but boy, seems like a Floyd concert could be a real downer in the wrong frame of mind.
Alas, Lotus, it was my long lost glassbender who I met just before my 33 birthday. He was just a very special person to me. I love both of your t-shirts... too cool. Now, they'd be worth a mint in some glad rags shop. I never thought I'd drop acid in a million years, but I did and it was a good experience, but I wouldn't reccomend it. My sophomore year at Madison, a freshman jumped out of his dorm window, splat. It always scared me, but the moment that night was right.
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