I love the gorgeous Ice Hotel they make every year in some colder than frostbite country. I'm the one with the hot Swedish ski instuctor. We booked a weekend getaway to nuzzle and mash under animal pelts like our prehistoric ancestors and sip Ice Wine,Schnaaps or Jaegermeister. It's so primitive and SO posh! Grrrrrrrr...
Brrrrrrrrr! When I got home from work I trudged to the mailbox to find my utility bill. It's a combined bill with charges for gas and electric. Panic gripped my stomach and I couldn't quite catch a deep breath. Wait, was I sweating? It's forking 15 degrees out!
Slowly opening the envelope, I peek inside to soften the blow. Maybe it will quickly shrink down to normal size. $279!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had to phone a friend. Hers was a little less, but not much. Instant Karma in the name of local justice?! I had to do something.
I decided NOT to plug in the outdoor Christmas lights. I reprogrammed the thermostat so that it will be a balmy 60 degrees during the day & evening and 58 during sleepie pies. Am I doomed to a winter of slipper socks and multiple sweaters? I draw the line at Long Johns. I really look forward to a season filled with permanent nip-ons. Thanks to breastfeeding I'll be the only one who knows. It'll be our little secret.
I'm sure if you did an infrared image of my house at night it would look just like a big steaming pile of dog poo in the winter.
boobs, nip ons, ice hotel, freezing, house, winter, outrageous, heating, bill, breastfeeding
2 comments:
Hmmm, your electric and gas bill are combined?? Very Interesting... a little less hassle... I like it! Here, in the deep south, in the summertime, you are one happy camper if when you open your electric bill you see a 2 at the beginning. I don't like it one bit. I am glad for relief in winter when I can tear open my electric bill and breathe a little easier. So dear sister, I can relate with the slowly opening the envelope and peeking inside syndrome. My love to you and russian babe. And for the love of cheese, PLease keep russian babe and his nipply food supply warm this winter.
You may just be onto something, frozen boobie popsicles. "a great frozen teat, I mean treat!"
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