Blowing Your Neighbor & Yourself

What makes a single madame feel totally empowered, totally fanfrickingtastic? No, not electric toothbrushes turned sex toys, but a BIG, STRONG, BALLSY SNOWBLOWER! Living just south of the Yukon can take alot out of a gal, especially if she lives on a corner at the bottom of a hill. Enter the typical blizzard. The snow just piles up to the n-th degree. Of course the local plow guy always shoves ALL the snow from the entire block right into my driveway or plows in the corner four feet deep. This I fear and begrudge no more.

I imagine and equate this, my beloved snowblower, as having a really big penis. It's like a man painting his face in his team's colors and going shirtless to a winter game. It makes me want to ROAR. I want to start cat calling these guys with pussy, inferior machines. I am that wooly mammoth Beyond Thunderdome warrior riding a big motorcycle and wearing a fur hat that has HORNS! I'm the one with the battleaxe and mace. I feel like I have the biggest, most gargantuan dick east of the Mississippi. The most badass muscle car, the longest, fastest jet boat, the most acreage, the nicest set of golf clubs, the newest Bugatti just can't compare(okay maybe the Bugatti- it does 0-60 in TWO fricking seconds!)to my steely snow steed.

After blowing two neighbors plus myself in less than twenty minutes, I pamper my steed with a thorough rub down, removing the crusted snow with the utmost delicacy and care. Then little sweetsie goes gingerly back into the garage until the next subzero snow blast.

I gotta tell you, I can hardly wait to get my hands on him again. I totally get the power of the penis.

female, empowerment, blow, jobs