This weekend has been like living in the Pacific Northwest. Temperatures in the 40's and it's raining and gray. Sometimes I can be easily influenced by the weather to feel blue for no particular reason. I ignored the urge this morning.
Snowflake and I were up at the crack of dawn. He was excited to take a bath with his new giant rubber duckie. After bathing and breakfast we went to Target where I set out to buy only diapers and garbage bags. I ended up with three hats, a cashmere scarf, some Ghirardelli milk chocolate caramel squares, four long sleeved t-shirts, two mini notebooks, a stainless steel mixing bowl w/ rubber non-skid bottom and a fake pair of Robeez. God, I'm thrifty and frugal!
Driving downtown on the way back to the casa in the rain, I did a double take. I do believe I saw Snowflake's Y walking down the street. Pony tail, bucket hat, clean shaven, looking in the record store window. My heart sank.
The weather, along with a lot of other thoughts came pouring down. I didn't cry, but I felt so sad. I never thought in a million years I would be a single mom. I was thinking, WHY? Why did things have to turn out this way? Snowflake is such an amazing, sweet and loving little boy, my heart breaks when I think I have no one to share him with. I know I am enough, but there is no one that cares about him like I do.
Damn, the rain!
2 comments:
There's a reason that you're a single mother, I'm sure of that. If sometimes you think that a child would always be better off knowing both of his parents, you have to remember that some people aren't good role models. There are others that care about Snowflake and want the best for him. I know that I care about him and I don't even personally know you two. You're nothing short of a great mom and that's all that matters.
I agree with everything MsBaby says. You are a great Mom and Snowflake is very loved!
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