Friday, January 13, 2006

Just You & Me, Kid

Tomorrow everyone begins to desert us. Our entire teensie familia is going south of the border. It is a company trip and everyone is going. Big Pappy just kept drilling it over and over into my skull how he thought it would be a bad idea to take Snowflake. "What if he gets sick? You wouldn't want a sick baby in Mexico! I don't want to hear about it if he gets sick." He's so child friendly, bless his heart.

Snowflake and I are taking care of his psychotic, snaggle-toothed lhasa apso while they're gone.

Sid and Nancy asked me if I would assume the responsibility of raising their five month old bambino in the case of their untimely demise since they decided not to take him. Of couse, of course.

"But we would want him to eat meat, okay?" Sid said.

He can eat whatever he wants, I assured them. Then they gave me a notarized copy of a living will. It's queer to imagine myself, as a single mother of two and no immediate family. I would definitely have to move to Miami to be by my best friend or start a boarding house for wayward orphans and pugs.

Everytime my parents go away this conversation always occurs:

"You have the keys to the lock boxes, right?"

"Yes"

"If something happens, go down there immediately!" (With this type of urgency it can only be weapons grade plutonium)

"Okay"

"You know where my jewelry is, right?"

"Yes"

"Okay, good. Maybe you should just stay here while we're gone."

My mother worries that Snowflake's Y is going to show up and wreak havoc. She thinks we'd be safer at their house. We can even bring The Chidler, she entices. As dangerous as her worrisome mind thinks it is, I am happiest sleeping in my own comfy but apparently bacteria laden, may as well be a thousand pound flophouse mattress.

With everyone leaving, it is like life flashing before my eyes. A mind wanders when left alone. It is a mini lesson in survival, I mean what if?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I don't like the thought of being handed a notarized copy of a living will. How very responsible of them. The meat comment made by Sid was pretty hilarious, I had to chuckle to myself at that one. Where is Y?