Saturday, January 07, 2006

Extra Well Done

I used to consider myself highbrow when it came to film. Until today, I hadn't seen a movie in almost two years! Well, today was a day of complete laziness and film debauchery courtesy of satellite tv at the padres casa. I was skeezing, slumming and thoroughly wasting the day. What fine contributions to the world of entertainment did I entrance myself with? I am almost embarrassed to say!

I started the afternoon with "Wedding Crashers". I used to love Owen Wilson and now I am beginning to think I must be losing my sense of humor because I just didn't find it that pants-splitting. The funny thing is, I realized the end of his nose really looks like a penis.(I'm not just saying that because I've been in the convent for so long! Look at it sometime!)

Falling further down the trail of indulgence, I watched "13 Going on 30." This starred Jennifer Garner in a poorly written but happy go lucky formula film with a heavy nod to the 80's and all of it's glorious music. It was all saccharine sweet. Can I have a slice of cheesecake?

Next was "The Butterfly Effect". This was quite the load of butterfly guano. It's amazing the way someone can lose all of their sex appeal when they don't have all their parts. Of course there is NO WAY Hollywood would let Ashton remain a skanky handless disabled shell of a hero! All's well that ends well. More cheesecake anyone?

I finished out the evening watching "Fargo". I've always liked the Cohen brothers films and I think this is definitely the best. Has there been a more spineless cad in a film since William H. Macy's Jerry Lundegaard? Francis McDormand as the pregnant midwestern lady cop as hero was a refreshing change. Or it could be Steve Buscemi's foot sticking out of the woodchipper. Maybe I'm just partial to that sexy Minnesotan dialect. Ya. I think it's more the common bond we share living in the frigid tundra.

I feel over exposed, satiated and bloated from a 36" Sony flatscreen Wega. I'm seeing trailers, tracers and little flying dots. Stick a fork in me, I am DONE.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, Fargo will always be in us northerners' hearts. I went and saw Fun With Dick And Jane tonight. It was funny, but not funny enough that I'd watch it an uncountable amounts of time (like A Night At The Roxbury). However, Jim Carey busts out some dance move that are freakin side spliting. He's such an animated person.

Anonymous said...

I agree...he is definitely one of a kind. Have you ever read about his life before fame? Very interesting. His family lived in a station wagon for quite some time and he looks exactly like his pappy.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, actually I have. Didn't he also have a few siblings? Just goes to prove that anything could happen in life.

Anonymous said...

Anything CAN happen. The hard part is hanging on when things become almost unbearable. Why does it appear that misery is a requirement for greatness?