Confessions of a Former Mall Rat

In this average size midwestern town, city planners talk of downtown revitalization. They try, but a few ecclectic shops can't make up for the massive mistake so many towns their size made in the 80's: knocking down the core character of a cool place to build a mall.

I spent every Saturday at this place when I was in highschool cruising the circuit with my girlfriends. Claire's Boutique sold jelly bracelets. I actually worked at THE LIMITED! I can still remember everyone wearing their Forenza V neck sweaters backwards. It was the era of "Weird Science" and "Sixteen Candles".

I went to that same mall today with my mamma. She was looking for some things to take on a trip. I NEVER go to the mall. Unlike malls in major metropolitan areas, this mall is a dinosaur, a ghost-town of it's former glory days. There are so few stores it's almost pathetic. There are even fewer customers.

The majority of the stores, minus The Gap, cater to teensie tinsie weensie woo woo's. Hollister, Aero Postal, AE, everything is the same, the only difference is the logo. I really wanted to gag myself but had to hold back so Snowflake wouldn't follow suit.

It's strange getting older. You think you're somewhat hip and then you go to this mall-shanty and realize you are on the downside of our insane youth culture. OUCH! It kind of hurts! Sometimes I just want to go and get a chemical peel.

Maybe a little ass & thigh suck. Why not a great boob lift to take away two years of breastfeeding?

Then I think NO FORKING WAY. I LOVE my thirties! And I love me. They have been the BEST years yet. This is coming from a single mother, all! The mall will always be a shrine to little titties and small waists. I wave goodbye and say thanks for the memories, but NO THANKS.

80's, mall rat, limited