Changes

In another life I was a graphic designer. I love to play with Photoshop. Changing my blog header is like re-arranging the furniture, it's a compulsion that I have and it must be done frequently. I can't seem to find my perfect expression so I will keep on playing. Playing is what it's all about at this point in life.

I've said it before, not having a significant other allows me to focus completely on Snowflake. He is my attached co-sleeping breastfeeder. I agree with Dr. Sears that life is a series of weanings... from the womb, from the breast and from the family bed. I can't imagine what it's like for a couple that practices this. I suppose you can get very creative. I can't wait to sleep alone. Snowflake is a complete bedhog, somehow managing to stake the entire queen size to himself whilst leaving me a sliver the width of an ironing board.

Let the broken record play once again. They are little for such a brief period of time, I feel that it is my duty to be beckoned by his every reasonable whim. It has been worth it. I don't believe he has had a real meltdown, YET. He likes to share with others. He is not attached to material objects in any way. It's amazing the impact you have. One day he is going to be someone's partner and I hope I served them well.

I read him a spanish language storybook called "Frida", all about Frida Kahlo. It's his current favorite. Last night while I was doing the dishes he was leafing through it and I heard him say "Chihuahua. Chihuahua. Chihuahua. Chihuahua." I was floored! He said it so perfectly and it sounded so damn fricking cute I almost wept tears of joy. Calmly I assured him he was doing a great job. Internally I was screaming and doing backflips.

When I was younger I thought I would get married out of college and have lots of children. Time passed and I did pretty much everything I said I wouldn't do in life(another post for that one). I thought I would never be a mamma. I became one of those people that gave dirty looks to parents with those bratty screaming "creatures".

That changed and here I am. It has been the most amazing experience. Now I just feel sorry for them, wearing their black turtle necks and fitted leather jackets as they look down from their lofty modernist mid-century perches. Sure, their furniture will always be impeccable, but who are they going to leave it to?

A pity they may never know the sublime joy of having one of the greatest gifts life can bring you.