waterbaby

night in white

autumn is gone

winter is here

now with more cheesecake!

angry cupcake

an homage to the extremely unique il signor panza. i hope he doesn't mind. can you hear wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" playing in the background?

tween in autumn

younger than she looks

leaving the library

i can't effing stand it anymore. since the very first day of school i've noticed this skeezy, greasy over 50 creepy dude that hacks like he smokes a carton of Lucky's a day. i can hear him no matter where he sits. earlier, i heard him rip one. does he think people won't notice because HE'S wearing headphones?!

lately he's been bringing in plastic bags of worm ridden deer apples. today was my lucky day because right now he's sitting right next to me, wheezing and snotting and snorting away. once in a while he glances over at me and i want to gag. whoa! good fortune! he just left!

i better wait to leave though. you know, so he doesn't think i'm following him.

granular

waiting room

The other day I was at Penzoil getting my oil changed. As I sat in the grimey waiting room reading the obituaries of people dead already a week ago(their most recent paper was a week old), I honed in on their ages: 60, 73, 84. All of these words summing up a lifetime in "paid for paragraphs."

In our little metropolis, they run the court records and police logs but make you pay for an obit that lists anything more than survivors and service times. I am going to be fourty in few months. 60 is only twenty years from now. I am going to die someday. I will not be here. I am going to die and life will go on. It's just so hard to fathom not seeing what happens with my little love.

If I die when I'm I'm 60, half of my life is already over. How should we live our lives so that we have no regrets, so that we dwell in the importance of the here and now and not the when's or what if's?

you can steal my signs

but you can't steal the election! a$$heads stole my signs AGAIN! I have never felt so happy, hopeful or as invigorated as I did watching Barack Obama speak to over 125,000 people live in Chi-town last night. Steal my signs, weiners because I am crushing your heads.

like a virgin

I don't know why I do the things I do sometimes. Lately I've been thinking about flesh, naked skin on skin...no faces just sensations. This led me to put something "out there" but I don't really want a date. Impulsive or randy? I can't decide.

I think I'd much rather prefer a stranger in the night scenario. Whatever the reason for my madness, I vascillate between ripping it down, leaving it up or just going to the sex shoppe(yeah, as in ye olde). WTF. I think there is a very strong urge to break my five year dry spell but like I've said before, I don't want anyone to see me naked.

Therefore, I suppose I need to add a few details as to what I'm looking for like "must be legally blind" or "must meet in total darkness" or "must wear a blindfold." Ugh. Or maybe I should just banish the thought from my mind entirely and become like Morrissey who once said "I'm inches away from a monastary."

BAM!

wise monkey

Night Chickens

I heard some finaggling in the front yard a few minutes ago. I had a suspicion. Looking out from my cozy 1.5 story roost I knew immediately it was gone. I called the non-emergency number and reported it. Someone uphill had theirs stolen, too. So this is just a big eff you to the shitwad that stole my ginormous 4' x 6' Obama sign. Dickheads. How very Maverick of you. As SF would say, woozer.

bits and pieces

FAQS

1.) i bought a cool 1950's Roper stove. i spent $100 and two cans of easy off polishing and primping it only to find out i can't get the friggin' oven pilot light to fire up.

2.) it's reaaaalllllly gorgeous though. we make lots of tea and pasta.

3.) i'm getting all A's(yeah, that's 14 credits worth). does it matter if it's a teKnical college?

4.) my mom outbid someone on the cello and won it so it can stay in the fam.

5.) snowflake is going to be a monkey for halloween.

6.) he should go as a sea monkey because of his natural love of the agua.

7.) i am vowing not to turn the heat up for winter.

8.) i don't get out much and when i do, well... it ain't pretty.

9.) older dudes never let you pay for a drink and i dig that.

10.) i'm not into going out. i have one big hurrah and then i realize, nah.

11.) i don't want to shovel snow or blow it.

12.) ditto the frozen dog turds of winter, but i will, my friend, yes, i will.

someday...

handful

leon and his first car

cool cat


gets krazy wheels

shithead

needs more than an Ancient Chinese Secret

supermodel

out of my head

summer went out the door

characteristics

eyes have it

On Sunday, SF and I found these adroable bambinos penned up by the side of the road. He didn't have to convince me to stop. Damn, they were cute. These are the babes chocolate milk will come from. They were so sweet I wanted to gobble them right up, but not in a Sizzler kind of way, you know. Total cuteness.

about Bob

I found this student art project in pieces in the dumpster by the university art dept. this past spring. I thought, COOL! outdoor sculpture. Constructed of grocery store bouncy balls, Plaster of Paris and gauze, the creature was painted the color of Kraft macaroni and cheese powder. Well, after 11 rolls of duct tape I wasn't as enthusiastic. SF enjoyed riding his creature in the backyard all summer. I decided it would be a good idea get rid of it before it decayed through the winter and became a 300lb mess in the spring.



My friend helped me haul it to the curb and just then, the neighbors across the street came home and their little boy came over.

"Where did you get that?" he asked.

"Out of the dumpster at the UW."

"Why would you go in a dumpster? What is it?"

"It's a creature."

"What do you call it?"

"Why don't you name it?"(Ahhhh! Now I recall SF called this "strawberry")

"How about Bob?"

"Sounds good."

The next morning when SF woke up he said, "I have to check and see if Bob is still there"...patter, patter, patter..."Mommy! He's still there. He must be meant to be ours!"

Around lunchtime I received a text saying a Jeep full of hysterically laughing hospital workers picked him up. They were laughing so hard they couldn't speak but got enough out to say it was for a prank. Off he goes in a car full of chicks.

Bon voyage, Bob and Happy Trails!

yellow

About dot com says this about yellow:

Yellow is sunshine. It is a warm color that, like red, has conflicting symbolism. On the one hand it denotes happiness and joy but on the other hand yellow is the color of cowardice and deceit.

I've calmed down since this morning's hellacious beginning. Can you remember the tale of the pissboy? Well, he's back. And I'm pissed. Really, don't laugh.

Last night I made SF go upstairs for a timeout. I didn't think anything of it. This morning after feeling all shower clean and refreshed I picked up one of my favorite t's off of the a really cool old, dear to my heart retro chair(it was blue velvet woodgrain) in my bedroom only to find it mysteriously wet. Even more mysterious was that what was laying on top of it was dry. Hmm...

I figured it out fast with a quick sniff. The little shit peed all over my chair last night because I sent him upstairs for a timeout! ARGH! But even more devious was the fact that he lifted clothes up and sprayed beneath them to hide his sinister purposeful bathroom break. WTF.

I hauled the chair to the curb. When I came back in the house, Charlie had peed on the floor because I didn't let him out first(I was mad, but I can handle MY mistake for not letting an old dog out soon enough). The pissboy? I'm thinking of crating him.

steamrolling

I just got a call from an organization that is going to use one of my images for their 2009 calendar! It's distributed state wide. Whoo hooo!!!


It's this one, Dot!

Orville + Bear Update

I'm sitting here in this time capsule of a library(circa 1950) and my cell rings, LOUD. I forgot to shut it off and I'm fumbling. I accidentally hit speaker phone and then voice commands. "say a comand" BEEP "say a command" BEEP

I looked up the number via goog and here it was the man I took that crazy cute photo of with his dog. I walked out of the library and called him.

He thanked me and said he just loved them. I told him if he wanted more, just to call(I gave him 15 4" x 6" prints). He couldn't believe how nice they were because it was so misty out. He said he had enough for his Christmas cards. I melted.

I walked back into the library with a smile on my face as if were in love, floating back to this spot and its Computer Hardware Fundamentals drudgery. I'm still smiling though.

gross out

Lately, in my spare time random day dream blips, I find my mind wandering towards thoughts of dental floss and chicken wings. I've been obsessing, really. It blows my mind to think about the millions of chickens slaughtered everyday. Then I think of their clipped wings. The billions and billions of wings severed for people who never give a second thought to what they're eating other than if it comes with free celery. Gross.

Thankfully I haven't had to floss any chicken meat out of my teeth in almost a decade. Floss. I'm a hardcore flosser. I have to floss at least two times a day. I used to think nothing of throwing strand after strand of floss down the toilet. Thinking about how much floss I've already used and discarded down the drain, I wondered where does it end up? Are ducks getting twined up in fish line floss and succumbing to their deaths? And wouldn't it be disgusting to go swimming and end up with a piece of floss in your hair or mouth? Worse if it came out of the faucet. I decided not to flush it anymore.

It's probably no better to throw it in the garbage where five years from now, some raccoon will choke on it at some landfill or a baby bird gets it wrapped around its wing and can't fly. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's highly biodegradable. Gag me.

a simple respite from html hell

I spent the entire day working on this weeks html assignment concerning *tables*. OMG. After staring at the same fricking lines and doing the same things over and over with them NOT working, it somehow all came magically together. I was ready to puke when the lightbulb burst in my head and the mystical sea of knowledge spilled forth causing a serious urge for booze. If i still smoked, I would have had a Marb.

Instead, I went home.

When I walked in the door, my Darling Dearest greeted me with:

"Mommy! You look so cute today!" (he didn't see me this morning before I left for school as he stayed at his g-padres)

The tension lifted as he gave me one of his fabulous monkey hugs. What a good day, indeed.

the kindness of strangers

On my way home from class last night I saw a little old man walking his dog in the rain. As I drove by, I saw him smile at a female passerby as he crossed a beauty salon parking lot. I felt I had to go around the block and approach him.

Pulling up along the sidewalk I sprang out of my car and said,"Excuse me. sir? Could I take your photo with your dog? I'd have some prints made for you. I saw the two of you and thought it was so adorable how you were taking your dog for a walk."

"I suppose you could" he smiled and continued, "I shouldn't have taken her out in the rain."

She was sopped, but happy and spunky. I told him it looked like she was enjoying herself. I asked him his name and address. "What's your dog's name?"

He paused, under his breath he murmured, "oh, what do we call her..." He took a few seconds and said "Bear".

I went back and grabbed my camera and snapped three quick shots. I gave him my card and thanked him again. I got a kiss from the dog. Getting back in my car I watched them disappear slowly up the incline of the sidewalk in the misty drizzle. Bear sat down for the journey home. His smile was so warm, exuding kindness and gentleness. I'm so happy I went back for that moment.


Orville and Bear


Bear at the helm

you smell so good

50/50

sf: can i have some 50/50?

me: no, we're not having any pizza.

time passes, i have a few glasses of wine after dinner

SF: can i have some 50/50? (cuddling)

me: well i suppose.(big monkey hug + smiles + kisses = feeling the toddler-squishey-chipmonk voice LOVE)

SF: hey, why are you letting me have 50/50?

me, glowing and warm, fuzzy, but real: because i'm being lenient.

SF: no, i think it's because you're being niiiiiccccce.(BIG HUG)

and i bust out laughing. SF too.

zoinks!

a funny thing happened when i got home from school on friday... some of you may already know because you're my friend and SF's nanny. or you may know because i called you. you could know because i stopped by. or maybe it was just a simple shout-out on facebook.

in any case, i was completely stunned when i got home from school to find a check from a gallery that is host to a national show. one of my framed prints sold for $1400. can i take the liberty of rounding up from $1366? i've been walking on sunshine ever since. i can't bring myself to deposit it just yet. i like to look at it. and since i'm prone to spending disposable income on things like keens and botox, i think i'll just hang on to it for a while.

-signed the 'arteest' formerly known as msmamma

under the milkyway tonight

last weekend i hung out on the roof of my parents boat house. my mom bought my dad a meade telescope and for years it sat unopened in their basement. apparently i was the anointed telescope erector. i can get really, really feisty when it comes to getting things like this put together. i had to mount and remount a few times before i realized i just had to pull down really hard to get to zero degrees. fvck.

once together i put it down on the boathouse roof and scanned the shoreline. i could see people's faces so cleary, if i knew WHO they were, i'd know them. leave my wandering eye to find a dude halfway across the lake whipping it out and watering the flowers. seriously, i think i could have counted his pubes one by one.

my last night there my mom and i sat and drank wine and looked at the stars with a blustering wind flowing through the night that only meant summer was over. looking up at the stars i felt chilled and invigorated and small but strong. each little star hanging its twinkling calling card out in the night for anyone anywhere to see like neon signs across the galaxy. we were here they said. we are here i answered.

tadpole

The seamonster emerges, crabby


falling right out of the faucet into the warm bubbling pool,

as the naked nymph stands guard.

Water makes him happy.


He thanks the spirits in his own way


loving the aqueous and ephemeral

even though he doesn't know it yet.

my mom is the best

last night when i got home from school i walked in to find this:

okay! i took this picture after because i forgot




it was a complete and utterly sweet surprise from my mama-san. not only did she buy me flowers and wine, the table was set and her famous corn chowder was bubbling away on my stove. mmm...it smelled so de-lish! it was accompanied by a salad and crusty baguettes. she didn't stop there though, she also changed my sheets(put on my fave sock monkey ones) and washed the others.

she didn't stick around to be thanked though. i called her to tell her just how wonderful it was and how special she is. thanks, mom. XOXO

my friend in the library

i hate my template

that's all.

belated

Apparently yesterday was National Dog Day. In this shot you're looking at Ginger and Frank, not yet tailgating as they wait for something to fall out of Charlie's ass. To them it's snack time, to me it's disgusting. Here's to you, ass-lickers! My life just wouldn't be as aromatic without you. xo

Frank - The Movie

After nine straight hours of intense studying, I stopped at the store on my way home to pick up some din-din for SF and me. Fresh tomatoes(grown by SF) and cheese on baguettes with a side of redbox. Tonight's age appropriate, staight to video selection was "Frank". Awesome, I thought as I stared at the photo of what looked like a geriatric pug on the disc. Turns out, Frank is an uncared for, rough and tumble, wandering Mastiff, often mistaken for "The Creature", a mysterious beast who eats out of garbage cans and hangs in the local cemetery.

With all of its manipulative twists and turns culminating in a completely milked climax (combined with a rad case of PMS), I was bawling. And not just because Garrett Morris played Animal Control. OMG. Chocolate, please. If by chance Frank the Movie finds you, you'll love the dog and the idyllic vacation home owned by out of towners. SF loved it. In fact, he's watching it again. I'll be over here with a glass of cab taking deep breaths. xo

today is the day

i drop the cello off at the Conservatory. they asked us what to place the starting bid at. do i go low so i can bid on it and actually, maybe win it?!

fly, fly! little birdie!

getting situated

Last night we were in the bathroom getting ready to brush teeth when SF tells me to "hang on a second, I need to get situated." I had to laugh. I'm getting situated, plunking along, delving into HTML and FLASH and Information Security. I'm the only chick in that last one. Today I have "computer hardware fundamentals". I'm sure it will be a laugh riot! Honestly, I'm digging the academic life. In my younger days, after my BA, I had dreams of attaining a phD and teaching college. I thought maybe I'd teach an entire class on Flannery O'Connor. I still think a good man is hard to find.

mello cello

me with mello cello


my uncle, who wired it up for me

I'm so happy. I finally completed the project I've been working on for most of the summer. I meticulously sanded an unplayable cello. It was music in itself as I wheeled my Bosch orbital all over its tired body. I wish I would have recorded the sound. After cutting out the template I drew for the face(and tons more sanding), I rejuvenated the old boy by staining him three different colors(and sanding). I finished off with about 20 layers of piano lacquer(and MORE sanding!). The colored inserts in the orifices are from those translucent velum-like Chinese take out boxes. I have two bulbs wired in the base to light it up. It's so totally gorgeous that I really want to keep it.

MY cello, along with a few violins, a couple of guitars and some cases were donated to local artists who agreed to take their time and talent and turn them into something fabulous for a charity auction(Wausau Conservatory of Music). I will be bidding on this or force my parents to. Then again, maybe there will be a heinous slip and fall, a tragic accident that renders Mello: MIA. Hmm...