Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder what you'll look like when you're older, much older? Or have you ever pondered the thought of your own longevity? How long do you wish to live? Does it depend on the condition you're in? It's bizarre to look in the mirror and see your face slowly morphing into another version of you. For the longest time I felt like I was fresh out of college, 22 in the mind and mirror. This persisted well into my mid 30's and finally I am seeing that certain something fading away. This is not a bad thing per se, but when I take photographs of myself I am seeing the emergence of something different, something I don't recognize. Is this the middle age me? I don't know and it does scare me a little. I guess if I want to buy into the whole baby boomer fascination with "60 being the new 30", then I'm just fine, fine. 92 years ago my grandmother came into this world. Today, this sweet church goin' lil' lady celebrates her birthday amid the release of The Omen and those three little numbers that cause such fright and frenzy. She knows and recites vague and well known poetry and prose from memory. This morning I was treated to "The Spider & The Fly". Those amazing blue eyes have seen so much. Not only did she witness the Great Depression and the New Deal, but on her 30th birthday, the Allies invaded the beaches of Normandy. D-Day, B-Day. Cool, granny. She gave birth to eight little beings in this life. She buried four throughout her existence, including her husband almost twenty years ago.
I remember when she finally broke down and moved into an apartment 12 years ago because she was afraid to live alone. She was as happy as clam, and as spritely as a lamb in her new place. After a while, friends began to die or lose their health. It became depressing for her. She told me on several occasions that she was ready to die whenever that happened. I'm sure the ambulance calls get to be somewhat of a death siren after a while. I always cheered her up by telling her how fortunate she was to have such great health and how lucky Snowflake and I are to have her. I don't know what I believe about faith and religion, but I assured her that the God she believes in has a purpose for her. She took comfort in that.
A long time ago she gave me the slim white gold wedding band embellished with tiny orange blossoms that stayed on her hand come hell or high water. She had to take it off with a vat of vasoline. I never felt so honored. I thank her for the gentle love and warmth she has given me throughout life. For caring for me when I was little and for being here to care about my son. She is so sweet and wonderful. I look into the mirror and hope to be as beautiful of a person as she is. Prune me up, hunch me over, render me unrecognizable from any youthful blink of the eye but please give me at least 100 years- the dirty, the good, the bad, the ugly. I'll take them all.
grandmothers, aging, longevity, birthdays, salad days
7 comments:
You're so lucky that SF has a chance to know Grandma. Her generation experienced a lot and has a lot to share. I bet she's thrilled to have SF in her life.
Nice picture of you two. She has gentle eyes.
What a sweet post Heidi! Loved it. She sure is a beautiful older woman!
Yes Heid...what a sweet post! Your Granny reminds me so much of my Grandma K. That is a beautiful picture of you two gorgeous babes!
Great tribute to a wonderful woman. :) So glad you have her, and that snowflake has her as well. I knew my great grandma, she didn't die until I was 21, and she meant the world to me. I still have both of my grandmas (the older one will be 90 in September, and unfortunately she is suffering from Altzheimers, but she worked full time on the graveyard shift until she was 84 years old at Gallo Winery, and only moved out of her house last year, due to health and concern for her being alone.) and I feel very fortunate that they are still here for me, and that Maya gets to know them.
I don't know how long I want to live...with Altzheimers, it doesn't sound so great. But if my mind is still mostly ok, and my body somewhat, sure, sign me up. Maya says that by the time we're old, there will be nanobots that go into our body and destroy the aging cells, so we will still look and feel young and healthy when we're 130. Kids these days, and their crazy science magazines. ;)
J, don't laugh too quick now. I'm sure if we told our parents when we were 11 that we'd talk to people in Europe in real time via computers (for almost free no less!) they'd have laughed.
I heard a story on NPRs Science Friday about nano technology and it fascinates me and creeps me out. Absolutely mind blowing.
Thanks you guys.
J- Maya may not be too far off. Have you ever read anything about Nanotechnology? It's totally fascinating and that idea isn't to far fetched. Your seet granny worked at Gallo? That is very interesting to me. What did she do there? You are very lucky so is Miss Maya. Recent research suggests that the more you use your brain, you have a better chance of not succumbing to Alz-ers. Like doing crossword puzzles etc. I've heard that you should continue to stimulate your brain by learning new things as often as possible. I'm so sorry about that, that's hard and sad.
A lot of questions. When I was 18 or so, I decided I never wanted to get old, and still hope I die young. I think if circumstances were different I'd feel different. There's so many things I haven't done and would like to do, so living long would be a plus. But living long unhealthy, isn't that appealing.
This is such a beautiful post. Your grandmother is beautiful, and so are you.
Post a Comment