The first "Meat Raffle" had to be a smashing success. I imagine monster trucks jamming the parking lot, as their flannel wearing, trucker's cap topped owner's heads bottleneck at the entrance. Bad teeth and chewing tobacco are everywhere. I can smell man sweat. I feel a thousand slaps on my ass that I want to greet with a Club Size can of mace. How exciting to win a batch of smoked chops, a ham or a turkey! Maybe I should go...
Now if this was my kind of Meat Raffle, he'd be tall dark and handsome or even Nordic, preferably multilingual and well endowed. Smart, but not smarter than me. I think to myself is that any way to find a mate, MsMamma? Nah, I'm not actually desperate enough to pay for sex. If I went and I really wanted to get laid, I'm sure the sex would be gratis, but hell no gracias!
meat, raffles, bizarre, northwoods,
2 comments:
I like your idea of a meat raffle better than the real one. :)
We went to dinner at someone's house once where what they had to serve, really all they had in the fridge, was meat and beer. This was a married couple, too, not a couple of frat guys or anything. We were shocked. When we left, Ted said, "I wonder if they ever crap?" HA! As a matter of fact, they used their veggie drawers in the fridge for beer. Which prompts me to notice that the 'meat raffle' is indeed sponsored by Miller Lite....:)
Is beer a vegetable? I mean, it's not animal or mineral, right? Maybe that was their thinking...
Hey, I like the way you think J. Beer as a veggie. Yes! Maybe more of a grain. It has wheat, hops, yeast.
Where do I sign up for the meat raffle? How awesome would that be to win a fridge of meat!
When you eat only meat, you don't need to crap, it just oozes out of your pores.
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