the kindness of strangers

On my way home from class last night I saw a little old man walking his dog in the rain. As I drove by, I saw him smile at a female passerby as he crossed a beauty salon parking lot. I felt I had to go around the block and approach him.

Pulling up along the sidewalk I sprang out of my car and said,"Excuse me. sir? Could I take your photo with your dog? I'd have some prints made for you. I saw the two of you and thought it was so adorable how you were taking your dog for a walk."

"I suppose you could" he smiled and continued, "I shouldn't have taken her out in the rain."

She was sopped, but happy and spunky. I told him it looked like she was enjoying herself. I asked him his name and address. "What's your dog's name?"

He paused, under his breath he murmured, "oh, what do we call her..." He took a few seconds and said "Bear".

I went back and grabbed my camera and snapped three quick shots. I gave him my card and thanked him again. I got a kiss from the dog. Getting back in my car I watched them disappear slowly up the incline of the sidewalk in the misty drizzle. Bear sat down for the journey home. His smile was so warm, exuding kindness and gentleness. I'm so happy I went back for that moment.


Orville and Bear


Bear at the helm

you smell so good

50/50

sf: can i have some 50/50?

me: no, we're not having any pizza.

time passes, i have a few glasses of wine after dinner

SF: can i have some 50/50? (cuddling)

me: well i suppose.(big monkey hug + smiles + kisses = feeling the toddler-squishey-chipmonk voice LOVE)

SF: hey, why are you letting me have 50/50?

me, glowing and warm, fuzzy, but real: because i'm being lenient.

SF: no, i think it's because you're being niiiiiccccce.(BIG HUG)

and i bust out laughing. SF too.

zoinks!

a funny thing happened when i got home from school on friday... some of you may already know because you're my friend and SF's nanny. or you may know because i called you. you could know because i stopped by. or maybe it was just a simple shout-out on facebook.

in any case, i was completely stunned when i got home from school to find a check from a gallery that is host to a national show. one of my framed prints sold for $1400. can i take the liberty of rounding up from $1366? i've been walking on sunshine ever since. i can't bring myself to deposit it just yet. i like to look at it. and since i'm prone to spending disposable income on things like keens and botox, i think i'll just hang on to it for a while.

-signed the 'arteest' formerly known as msmamma

under the milkyway tonight

last weekend i hung out on the roof of my parents boat house. my mom bought my dad a meade telescope and for years it sat unopened in their basement. apparently i was the anointed telescope erector. i can get really, really feisty when it comes to getting things like this put together. i had to mount and remount a few times before i realized i just had to pull down really hard to get to zero degrees. fvck.

once together i put it down on the boathouse roof and scanned the shoreline. i could see people's faces so cleary, if i knew WHO they were, i'd know them. leave my wandering eye to find a dude halfway across the lake whipping it out and watering the flowers. seriously, i think i could have counted his pubes one by one.

my last night there my mom and i sat and drank wine and looked at the stars with a blustering wind flowing through the night that only meant summer was over. looking up at the stars i felt chilled and invigorated and small but strong. each little star hanging its twinkling calling card out in the night for anyone anywhere to see like neon signs across the galaxy. we were here they said. we are here i answered.

tadpole

The seamonster emerges, crabby


falling right out of the faucet into the warm bubbling pool,

as the naked nymph stands guard.

Water makes him happy.


He thanks the spirits in his own way


loving the aqueous and ephemeral

even though he doesn't know it yet.

my mom is the best

last night when i got home from school i walked in to find this:

okay! i took this picture after because i forgot




it was a complete and utterly sweet surprise from my mama-san. not only did she buy me flowers and wine, the table was set and her famous corn chowder was bubbling away on my stove. mmm...it smelled so de-lish! it was accompanied by a salad and crusty baguettes. she didn't stop there though, she also changed my sheets(put on my fave sock monkey ones) and washed the others.

she didn't stick around to be thanked though. i called her to tell her just how wonderful it was and how special she is. thanks, mom. XOXO

my friend in the library

i hate my template

that's all.

belated

Apparently yesterday was National Dog Day. In this shot you're looking at Ginger and Frank, not yet tailgating as they wait for something to fall out of Charlie's ass. To them it's snack time, to me it's disgusting. Here's to you, ass-lickers! My life just wouldn't be as aromatic without you. xo

Frank - The Movie

After nine straight hours of intense studying, I stopped at the store on my way home to pick up some din-din for SF and me. Fresh tomatoes(grown by SF) and cheese on baguettes with a side of redbox. Tonight's age appropriate, staight to video selection was "Frank". Awesome, I thought as I stared at the photo of what looked like a geriatric pug on the disc. Turns out, Frank is an uncared for, rough and tumble, wandering Mastiff, often mistaken for "The Creature", a mysterious beast who eats out of garbage cans and hangs in the local cemetery.

With all of its manipulative twists and turns culminating in a completely milked climax (combined with a rad case of PMS), I was bawling. And not just because Garrett Morris played Animal Control. OMG. Chocolate, please. If by chance Frank the Movie finds you, you'll love the dog and the idyllic vacation home owned by out of towners. SF loved it. In fact, he's watching it again. I'll be over here with a glass of cab taking deep breaths. xo

today is the day

i drop the cello off at the Conservatory. they asked us what to place the starting bid at. do i go low so i can bid on it and actually, maybe win it?!

fly, fly! little birdie!

getting situated

Last night we were in the bathroom getting ready to brush teeth when SF tells me to "hang on a second, I need to get situated." I had to laugh. I'm getting situated, plunking along, delving into HTML and FLASH and Information Security. I'm the only chick in that last one. Today I have "computer hardware fundamentals". I'm sure it will be a laugh riot! Honestly, I'm digging the academic life. In my younger days, after my BA, I had dreams of attaining a phD and teaching college. I thought maybe I'd teach an entire class on Flannery O'Connor. I still think a good man is hard to find.

mello cello

me with mello cello


my uncle, who wired it up for me

I'm so happy. I finally completed the project I've been working on for most of the summer. I meticulously sanded an unplayable cello. It was music in itself as I wheeled my Bosch orbital all over its tired body. I wish I would have recorded the sound. After cutting out the template I drew for the face(and tons more sanding), I rejuvenated the old boy by staining him three different colors(and sanding). I finished off with about 20 layers of piano lacquer(and MORE sanding!). The colored inserts in the orifices are from those translucent velum-like Chinese take out boxes. I have two bulbs wired in the base to light it up. It's so totally gorgeous that I really want to keep it.

MY cello, along with a few violins, a couple of guitars and some cases were donated to local artists who agreed to take their time and talent and turn them into something fabulous for a charity auction(Wausau Conservatory of Music). I will be bidding on this or force my parents to. Then again, maybe there will be a heinous slip and fall, a tragic accident that renders Mello: MIA. Hmm...

little hummer

hummingbird at rest

little cherub

june 2007

i miss this age.

behind the wheel

i reely like it

My damn Honda lawnmower wouldn't start the other day. It just pissed me off. Like for no good reason after seven years, it just wouldn't turn over. Fucker. It wasn't the spark plug and I've yet to take it in to be fixed. I borrowed the neighbors and after hitting a hidden stump and nearly destroying it, I returned it, full of gas, still in one piece.

I'm one of those "risk your eyes for mowing" lawnmowers. I live dangerously by trying to get really close to clip things that I shouldn't. I've seen sparks fly off of stone and once decapitated a bunny(unknowingly).

I noticed my mom and dad had an old fashioned reel mower in their garage up north. They gave it to me and I put in in the back of the gas pig for the trip home. Last night I whipped 'er out and sliced and diced the lawn in pure silence. Well, it actually sounds like knife sharpening or something I vaguely remember from Hellraiser.

It's therapeutic. But then my neighbor decided to mow and broke the contemplative rhythm of the whirl. SF was chomping at the bit to get a good turn. I wonder how long his enthusiasm will stay fresh. Chop. Chop.

o, monday

ramble on

driving in my car, summertime and hot in 5pm traffic. listening to the song 'summerland' by everclear. there's a guy waiting at the lights to cross. white button down shirt, black pants, long hair in a pony with a goatee carrying a cup of java to go. i think he looks cute, interesting even, but then think, probably doesn't even have a driver's license.

i saw a dear friend a few weekends ago for the first time in over four years. she looked taut, wiry, thin and there was a hysteria hiding behind her eyes. she raised two gorgeous children, alone for 15 years. she mentions in a flashing spark that she dated the most amazing man, her soulmate, she called him and continued on about something else. i went back to it. tell me more about this amazing man, i said.

her eyes started on fire and light oozed from every pore of her being as she told the story about how she met him. she was friends with his brother and they knew eachother as kids. it was an amazing romance involving much swooning, deep breaths, sighing and for real courting. their dates were like some crazy romance novel. well, i said, what happened...

he died in august. i can see the light leave her face. it is still so shockingly unreal that i can see her grasping to just hang on to this moment. as she tells me the details, i start to cry. it was a horrid job site accident and he was crushed by an i-beam. his organs were harvested. it was just so awful and wonderful. all of it. i asked her if she had anything of his. she is still so very in love with him.

she begins to tell me about how he despised tattoos. she did too. yet, she pulls down the neckline of her tank and reveals a tiny, tiny red heart with a crack it. upon closer examination i see the crack is the first letter of his name. does it get any worse than this? will it get any better?

i picked up some crab rangoon for snowflake. as i was driving up the hill a few blocks from my house, i do believe i saw his father. i drove past him and didn't look back. i will never look back.

sublimation

Strange Brew

You know it's a damn wicked strong brew when your pee smells like fresh Pike's Place Roast. Thanks Starbucks. And thanks for wiring me up like a crazed chicken. Four hours later.

hello, summer!

on a carousel

i love my bike

the pianist

let me laaaaaaaaav you

holy tomato

wormderment

behind blue eyes

Technical Difficulties

Apparently the previous photo was unavailable so everyone will have to enjoy these tired old berries for a change. Also, I took my new, sweet ride to work this morning. My bike. Yeah, seven plus miles of technical difficulties. I feel like my old idol Pee Wee Herman. It's really neat-o! Stay tuned...

highway song

loose chain

so... having a little red wine and enjoying a gorgeous summer night. burning a stick of nag champa, watching nightline. commercial comes on for fixdent showing boomers enjoying various types of crunchy as nails bruschetta. which one has them has them, it prods you. yes, who?

like, dentures? who in the hell that age would have dentures? my 94 year old grandmother has dentures. the only people(excusing those of legitimate disease or unfortunate laws of physics) that age having dentures are alcoholics, recovering alcoholics, domestic abusers(okay christine, hocky players), and methheads.

they're definitely not eating brushetta.

Chicken's Evil Twin

Blossom and Fade

At the beginning of the month we had a 'snowball' fight.


He made an angel for me and now the month is almost gone.

If You Had Wings...

i'd probably bite your head off.

WTF

I just stumbled upon our fair berg's Craigslist. I'm just a tad obsessed for the moment. Tomorrow I'm going to pick up something I found on it. Damn, it's cool. Do you peruse Craiglist? Do you like it?

Psyched!

I have a friend, a total camera guru who has literally almost every great camera made. I called him up last week and asked him if he'd borrow me his Rolleiflex TSR. I think he was more excited than I was. Of course I could use it. And a light meter and the Mamiya medium format if I'd like. And if I was interested, he'd let me use one of his field cameras. This produces a 4" x 5" negative(kind of like what Ansel Adams used back in the day).

It's amazing what a simple phone call and a major colon blow can do for a person's psyche. Have a GREEEEAAAAAAAT DAY!

It Is What It Is

You know I've been in a mood, a funk, a fandangoed frickasse. Sorry if I haven't left a comment in a while. Whenever I'm around a fast modem I stop by. It makes me realize I need to edit my links list and clear away the clutter. Anyway, I ate too much very salty Sam's cheese pizza this evening and now I feel like a dehydrated Sea Urchin about to give birth to a manatee. Sick.

Saturday morning I took a bath and decided I needed a change after staring in the mirror. I found a dull pair of Fiskars and lopped off my length. Yeah, look over there...the casacading shoulder length keratin is now a feisty, fringy bob. It only took three machismo-like cuts and it was over. Sorry Locks of Love, this went straight down the crapper. Someone said 'man, you have a-lotta balls to do that'. I'm thinking damn, honey, it's just hair and it's not like I went all butch on myself. Sheesh.

So now I'm contemplating a streak of blue, pink or green. Like everything in life, I just don't know.

Blowing Myself

I want to thank my little sweetles for giving me the encouragment to smile. Chrissy, jMo, Christine, AM, J, NWO, LaLuna, Nina, Gem. Excuse me if I forgot anyone as I'm on my second glass of BOHO.

I have exciting news to share. Tonight I won 1st runner up Best of Show for 'skyworms' in the Creatures show at the Central Wisconsin Cultural Center in Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin. I tied with a person that awes me... we both scored 48 out of 50 points. She received best of show for a sculpture. This is a person whose resume reads like the Holy Grail. Currently, she's the artist in residence at The Grand Canyon. So, for the momento, I am very pleased, even if the ice caps are melting.

In other news, I had two pieces selected for a national juried show. THey actually print a catalog so I'm walking on helium as I type. That and the vino are sending me skyward at the moment. The day was great. XOXO

I'm Nervous and Bad with Money

Gah. I have so much crap spinning in my head right now I don't know what to do. So I usually do nothing. Most of the time I float along aimlessly with the slight annoying anxiety fluttering at the back of my mind. It's always there. I checked my bank account and my balance was frighteningly low. I pissed away my 'stimulous' check by paying bills and buying a couple of bird feeders and some plants for landscaping. Frickasse. I have to finish the cello project, I need a job, I'm gonna return to school in the fall and unemployment disappears soon. I can't say this has been a take charge experience for me. I function really well with out medication or alcohol. Excuse me while I go throw up now.

Just Hangin' Around

waiting for the sky to fall

You May Think

I'm Phat


But honestly, I'm just

Fat.

Hot Roller