Ah Spring! That time of year when a young man's fancy turns to love. Or in my case, no cable, a sleeping Snowflake and another season of "The Bachelor." Only this time he's "an officer and a gentleman." Yeah, right.
First of all, he's got huge, fake looking, kin of the Easter Bunny, I played hocky in highschool, denture-like teeth. And those toes? OMG! They're the toes of Yosemite Sam after Bugs whacks them with a brand spankin' new Acme hammer. God forbid he likes having them sucked. Who wants to gag on a toe? Not this girl.
