Tomorrow is Snowflake's "Family Feast" at Montessori. I'm trying to take deep breaths and r-e-l-a-x. I've developed an early disdain for school functions involving "The Perfects", "The Happys" and "The Traditionals." Each family was sent a note and asked to donate a few items in preparation for "The Feast."
We were asked to donate two boxes of Jiffy Corn Muffin mix(delectable, I know! I am a reformed Jiffy Blueberry Muffin-aholic from childhood) and an apple dessert. They also said anyone wishing to donate a turkey should call the school. I sent my note back:
"I would be willing to donate a Tofurky for the vegetarians if there is interest. I've never tried nor made one. Let me know."
I didn't hear anything until yesterday.
"Hey! I hear you're bringing a Tofurky," Miss X shouts out as she walks away from her submarine yellow Pontiac Aztek as I'm picking up SF.
I'm totally bewildered by her and say, "Um, I said I would bring one if there was interest. I've never had one."
When I get home I find a note in SF's backpack that says-
"You could bring a Tofurky already prepared if you would like!"
SONOFABEANDIP.
I went and checked them out today. A small Tofurky that serves four is $13. The three pounder is $30. This would be on top of the $$$ I'm spending for a gourmet Apple Cranberry pie. There is no way I'm spending $30 on something I've never made or tasted for people I don't know who are most likely pseudo-vegetarians taking a Q-Tip sized bite out of curiosity.
No tofurking way.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Today & Yesterday
Lately Paco has taken to wearing mesh running pants to the office. I guess I have to forgive him. He IS from Chicago(Italian-Irish) and a Bears fan. Sometimes I think he fantasizes about being Tony Soprano. When Snowflake was little he called him 'gagootz'. I tried to find the definition of gagootz but all I could find was some chick referring to her vagina as her gagootz. Hmmm...
Anyway, yesterday my last pair of green contacts decided to split. The left one shredded into a million pieces. Double damn! I drove all 'one eyed' and picked up a free pair and ordered some new ones. I couldn't decide if I looked more like a husky or David Bowie. When I got back to the car, I took the lonely green lens out. I rubbed it in my hands as hard as I could to destroy it.
Still perfect and in one piece.
Then I took it and rubbed it hard against my hand and my jeans.
As good as new. WTF. I threw it out the window.
Still to come: Aqua Eyes
Anyway, yesterday my last pair of green contacts decided to split. The left one shredded into a million pieces. Double damn! I drove all 'one eyed' and picked up a free pair and ordered some new ones. I couldn't decide if I looked more like a husky or David Bowie. When I got back to the car, I took the lonely green lens out. I rubbed it in my hands as hard as I could to destroy it.
Still perfect and in one piece.
Then I took it and rubbed it hard against my hand and my jeans.
As good as new. WTF. I threw it out the window.
Still to come: Aqua Eyes
Monday, November 12, 2007
I'm the Green Fairy
I just got back from the 'Y' after not working out for over a month(seriously, SF and I were both sick with a mystery illness).
All I can say is that when I stepped off the elliptical, I felt like mutha fuckin' Kylie Minogue in Moulin Rouge. I was so high I almost walked out of the gym with the sweat towel still hanging on my shoulder.
With My Baby
Because you haven't seen me since August(buzzed).
I look so momley. Low lights, green contacts and new snips(totally sober).
Friday, November 09, 2007
Good Vibes
I just came back from my parents new empty house(they're in Mexico) after some de-lish wine and hot-tubbing under the stars. It was a great day. The morning started out by being contacted by the person(hi L!) who runs Bernard Allison's My Space page. She asked me if she could use some of my photos and that the webmaster of his actual website may want to use one as well. YAY! So cool. He is such an amazing artist and the shots I took were during the Luther Memorial Weekend(his pop).
On top of that, I got a hello from an old friend. He's an incredible person and I am so happy for him. I hope he stays in touch. We had some memorable moments in college. I love you, man!
It's these little things that make everything so good. Oh yeah, and red wine and a sleeping three year old, too.
Pssst...
Make a MOO Greetings Card with this image and help raise money for Médecins Sans Frontières
You'll be taken straight to a page on MOO with my image selected, ready for you to customise and buy.
Make a MOO Greetings Card with this image and help raise money for Médecins Sans Frontières
You'll be taken straight to a page on MOO with my image selected, ready for you to customise and buy.
Make a MOO Greetings Card with this image and help raise money for Médecins Sans Frontières
You'll be taken straight to a page on MOO with my image selected, ready for you to customise and buy.
Make a MOO Greetings Card with this image and help raise money for Médecins Sans Frontières
You'll be taken straight to a page on MOO with my image selected, ready for you to customise and buy.
Make a MOO Greetings Card with this image and help raise money for Médecins Sans Frontières
You'll be taken straight to a page on MOO with my image selected, ready for you to customise and buy.
Make a MOO Greetings Card with this image and help raise money for Médecins Sans Frontières
You'll be taken straight to a page on MOO with my image selected, ready for you to customise and buy.
Make a MOO Greetings Card with this image and help raise money for Médecins Sans Frontières
You'll be taken straight to a page on MOO with my image selected, ready for you to customise and buy.
Make a MOO Greetings Card with this image and help raise money for Médecins Sans Frontières
You'll be taken straight to a page on MOO with my image selected, ready for you to customise and buy.
Make a MOO Greetings Card with this image and help raise money for Médecins Sans Frontières
You'll be taken straight to a page on MOO with my image selected, ready for you to customise and buy.
Make a MOO Greetings Card with this image and help raise money for Médecins Sans Frontières
You'll be taken straight to a page on MOO with my image selected, ready for you to customise and buy.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
It's Not Easy Being
When I picked Snowflake up from Montessori this afternoon, I was met by Miss L., a woman probably my mother's age. She looked at me sternly and said,
"Someone needs to work on not calling his classmates names."
Oh, fuck.
"Yes," I said, we've been having that problem and I don't know what to do" and I walked away with Snowflake in my arms.
The past few weeks he has had a passion for poop, stupid, crotch and piss. I honestly have no idea where he is getting them from because I don't say them. I almost died when I heard him say dummy yesterday.
I make things up like 'holy kananga birds' and 'son of a beandip' and let me not forget 'weiner bird.' I feel awful about it. I send him to bed early many nights because he's exhausted from not taking a nap and he calls me the 's' word- STUPID. I won't take it. I also tell him that he's hurting peoples feelings and that the kids won't like him if he keeps calling them names.
Tuesday was his parent teacher conference(the week before one of his teachers mentioned the word stupid was spreading like wildfire, so at least I know where one thing came from) and it was positive except for the fact that he likes to call his classmates strange things and see what kind of reaction he gets. The latest? Stinkhead.
All I do is tell him that certain words are not acceptable in this house. But he does it anyway. I felt so bad today after I picked him up. Tonight was father/son night. My parents are in Mexico so gramps couldn't take him.
I asked my brother, but his brain is like fresh tar in August. He said he'd do it, but he basically forgot about it so I told him not to bother.
Snowflake and I were sitting on the couch tonight and he was talking about father/son night and I told him he wouldn't be going. God! Even as I plunk the words out now, my nose stuffs up and I can barely see.
"But mom, I want you to take me to Father/Son night!"
"I'm not your dad, though," I say quietly.
"I don't care, I want you to take me," he says as I cuddle him in my arms and he falls asleep.
(heart breaks into a million tiny pieces)
I need glue.
"Someone needs to work on not calling his classmates names."
Oh, fuck.
"Yes," I said, we've been having that problem and I don't know what to do" and I walked away with Snowflake in my arms.
The past few weeks he has had a passion for poop, stupid, crotch and piss. I honestly have no idea where he is getting them from because I don't say them. I almost died when I heard him say dummy yesterday.
I make things up like 'holy kananga birds' and 'son of a beandip' and let me not forget 'weiner bird.' I feel awful about it. I send him to bed early many nights because he's exhausted from not taking a nap and he calls me the 's' word- STUPID. I won't take it. I also tell him that he's hurting peoples feelings and that the kids won't like him if he keeps calling them names.
Tuesday was his parent teacher conference(the week before one of his teachers mentioned the word stupid was spreading like wildfire, so at least I know where one thing came from) and it was positive except for the fact that he likes to call his classmates strange things and see what kind of reaction he gets. The latest? Stinkhead.
All I do is tell him that certain words are not acceptable in this house. But he does it anyway. I felt so bad today after I picked him up. Tonight was father/son night. My parents are in Mexico so gramps couldn't take him.
I asked my brother, but his brain is like fresh tar in August. He said he'd do it, but he basically forgot about it so I told him not to bother.
Snowflake and I were sitting on the couch tonight and he was talking about father/son night and I told him he wouldn't be going. God! Even as I plunk the words out now, my nose stuffs up and I can barely see.
"But mom, I want you to take me to Father/Son night!"
"I'm not your dad, though," I say quietly.
"I don't care, I want you to take me," he says as I cuddle him in my arms and he falls asleep.
(heart breaks into a million tiny pieces)
I need glue.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
In Dreams
As Jimmy noticed in the comments, yesterday at work I watched "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues." In the movie, there are lots of shots of Sandhill Cranes who eat Peyote buds and airplanes flying over a militant cowgirl ranch. We also watched "Follow that Food" with Gordon Elliot and there was a huge segment on champignons.
My coworker comes in this morning telling me he had a dream about big purple mushrooms and airplanes. My dream last night was really, really weird. I was at the dentist getting dentures. I decided to go with the "black ones". (I know...WTF?)
"Oh that will save you a ton of money," he says.
I'm getting nervous. I look at my teeth and think why am I doing this I'm only 38 years old.
"You know," I say, " I think I'm gonna hold off on this all together. I really don't think I need you to pull all of my perfectly healthy teeth. I think it would be a mistake."
"That's a great idea. There's no need for you to do all of that at this point," he says calmly and encouragingly.
I leave the dentist with a swing in my step and think he is the best dentist I've ever had. What a sweet, sweet man.
Now where in the hell did that come from? Black dentures. WTF.
My coworker comes in this morning telling me he had a dream about big purple mushrooms and airplanes. My dream last night was really, really weird. I was at the dentist getting dentures. I decided to go with the "black ones". (I know...WTF?)
"Oh that will save you a ton of money," he says.
I'm getting nervous. I look at my teeth and think why am I doing this I'm only 38 years old.
"You know," I say, " I think I'm gonna hold off on this all together. I really don't think I need you to pull all of my perfectly healthy teeth. I think it would be a mistake."
"That's a great idea. There's no need for you to do all of that at this point," he says calmly and encouragingly.
I leave the dentist with a swing in my step and think he is the best dentist I've ever had. What a sweet, sweet man.
Now where in the hell did that come from? Black dentures. WTF.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Blowing Down My House
I hate the days when I feel this way. I hate to feel like I will never accept myself for who I am. You'd think that after a baby and breastfeeding and blah, blah, blah I could just get over it. Accept my body for what it is and love it. Well, fat acceptance people, I just can't. I also can't accept not eating pizza or drinking Sprecher Black Bavarian. There is no happy medium for the non-medium me. Somedays I really like my ass and then my friend brings over a picture she took of me from behind and I'm all WTF. Whoa, that is my ass. Wow. It has a lot of character, like me, like this house.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Boneyard
The Halloween decorations are sad. They're being put away for the year. I always miss Buster the skeleton. He's my favorite. Bye, Sweeties. It's a cold and gorgeous Saturday morning and I'm enjoying it. SF is drinking hot chocolate and I'm going to scour the casa, put everything away and minimalize to prepare for whatever comes next. It's always nice to begin with a clean palate.
I can barely believe it, but I actually broke down and bought the elusive coffee maker. Okay, it was cheap and I couldn't refuse. I'm usually all about quality when it comes to buying stuff, but I have to chill on my caviar tastes for a while. I found a Senseo Supreme at Best Buy for $40(plus a rebate for a 'free' $2o Amex gift card, free tea pods, free cappucino pods, free Brabantia Stainless Pod container & mug). This morning I enjoyed a big robust cup of Kenyan coffee. SF fell asleep early last night(thank goodness for small mercies) and I found a plethora of gourmet pods available.
I can get Jamiacan Blue Mountain, 100% Kona etc. Right now, I'm drinking the Senseo pods, but they're pretty damn good for el cheapo. I'm digging it. Weeeeeeeeeee!
Friday, November 02, 2007
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Halloween
What I did at work yesterday afternoon.
I actually had to use a drywall knife and a LeCreuset pot(I used it as a hammer)
to get through the skin on the green ones! Damn!
Pumpkins in place, the scene of the crime before it occurred.
I've got a tiger by the tail!
This ain't no Siegfried & Roy aficionado(thank Gawd)
Snowflake is as Quick as a Cat!
Can you imagine our surprise when we unwrapped these
amazing and handmade cookies from my sweet friend?
They were left as a surprise in our breezeway!
Some of our 'kin
All lit up
We took them in for the night.
My favorite pumpkin of all!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Boodalee = Boodiful
It is a dark and rainy Halloween morning here in the middle of North Central Wisconsin, far, far away from the nearest Design Within Reach. Can you imagine my total shock and surprise when I got to work and read my email?
Normally it's the usual Astrology.com horoscopes and the Salon newsletter. Today was different. There amongst the mundane was an email from Mod Mom! It was a quick note informing me that I was one of her incredible contest winners! ModMom has the best contests! You should really check her out!
This time Snowflake is the lucky recipient of a Boodalee duvet and sheet set! It is so BEYOND hip and cute! I seriously considered getting the 'full' size set in case I wanted to downsize my queensize, but I didn't. I cannot be so greedy and selfish. This print just totally rocks! It has the Taj Mahal, the Eiffel Tower and the Pyramids just to name a few cool icons on it!
Now I can't wait to find the perfect twin size bed to put these gorgeous threads on! Thanks Mom Mom and Boodalee! Happy Halloween!
Normally it's the usual Astrology.com horoscopes and the Salon newsletter. Today was different. There amongst the mundane was an email from Mod Mom! It was a quick note informing me that I was one of her incredible contest winners! ModMom has the best contests! You should really check her out!
This time Snowflake is the lucky recipient of a Boodalee duvet and sheet set! It is so BEYOND hip and cute! I seriously considered getting the 'full' size set in case I wanted to downsize my queensize, but I didn't. I cannot be so greedy and selfish. This print just totally rocks! It has the Taj Mahal, the Eiffel Tower and the Pyramids just to name a few cool icons on it!
Now I can't wait to find the perfect twin size bed to put these gorgeous threads on! Thanks Mom Mom and Boodalee! Happy Halloween!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Small Signs
Yesterday I was catching up at ModMom and noticed you could win free method home products. I LOVE method home. I use so much of their stuff, I was psyched to see that I would be able to get a cool free bag just for purchasing my favorite daily cleaning products!
But wait, there's more!
As I was wandering around Target getting my stuff, my phone rang. My red Motorola Razor. It said "private call". I wasn't gonna answer it but my mammy was with me and she commanded be to accept the call. Maybe you know how she feels about cellphones.
So I answered it. The news is that one of my photos is being considered for the 2009 calendar of a very big organization. It is a honor to even be considered. I'm super psyched! It made my month in year full of shit. Yay me!
But wait, there's more!
As I was wandering around Target getting my stuff, my phone rang. My red Motorola Razor. It said "private call". I wasn't gonna answer it but my mammy was with me and she commanded be to accept the call. Maybe you know how she feels about cellphones.
So I answered it. The news is that one of my photos is being considered for the 2009 calendar of a very big organization. It is a honor to even be considered. I'm super psyched! It made my month in year full of shit. Yay me!
Monday, October 29, 2007
The Time is Near
Well, the date looms... December 1, 2007 I will be jobless. I really don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I hate being forced into action, into doing something that I don't fucking want to do because I have no other choice. The reality is I have no other income than my job, no monies from people no longer in my life. This is for the best, I know.
Even though I asked for the information, I really do not want to be a paralegal, a nurse, a radiographer or a dental hygienist*. Fuck. Fuckity fuck. The reality is I have to pay bills and take care of a little boy alone. I hate this fucking place.
*or an aesthetician either. I forgot that one.
Even though I asked for the information, I really do not want to be a paralegal, a nurse, a radiographer or a dental hygienist*. Fuck. Fuckity fuck. The reality is I have to pay bills and take care of a little boy alone. I hate this fucking place.
*or an aesthetician either. I forgot that one.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)