Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Fake Meat Isn't Cheap

Tomorrow is Snowflake's "Family Feast" at Montessori. I'm trying to take deep breaths and r-e-l-a-x. I've developed an early disdain for school functions involving "The Perfects", "The Happys" and "The Traditionals." Each family was sent a note and asked to donate a few items in preparation for "The Feast."

We were asked to donate two boxes of Jiffy Corn Muffin mix(delectable, I know! I am a reformed Jiffy Blueberry Muffin-aholic from childhood) and an apple dessert. They also said anyone wishing to donate a turkey should call the school. I sent my note back:

"I would be willing to donate a Tofurky for the vegetarians if there is interest. I've never tried nor made one. Let me know."

I didn't hear anything until yesterday.

"Hey! I hear you're bringing a Tofurky," Miss X shouts out as she walks away from her submarine yellow Pontiac Aztek as I'm picking up SF.

I'm totally bewildered by her and say, "Um, I said I would bring one if there was interest. I've never had one."

When I get home I find a note in SF's backpack that says-

"You could bring a Tofurky already prepared if you would like!"


I went and checked them out today. A small Tofurky that serves four is $13. The three pounder is $30. This would be on top of the $$$ I'm spending for a gourmet Apple Cranberry pie. There is no way I'm spending $30 on something I've never made or tasted for people I don't know who are most likely pseudo-vegetarians taking a Q-Tip sized bite out of curiosity.

No tofurking way.