Not Missing a Thing

Last night I went with a gorgeous bunch of girls to my friend's bachelorette party. At the beginning of the evening we were joking that we would find someone for me to kiss, although I may need to bleach my mouth or use rubbing alcohol and flame it afterwards. Ugh. No gracias. Even with slight beer goggles I was just so turned off by the scene. I gave out a few of my Moo Cards(STRICLTY business, no flirting intended, that means you Costanza dome, Rollie Fingers 'stache dude), played darts, which I didn't totally suck at and learned that I absolutely can't stand Bud Light. Is that the Skinny Bitches Secret?