A few weeks ago I was tagged by Jimmy for something introspective. I wasn't in the mood. Then The Fabulous D, tagged me for another something-something. I'm making no promises that it's anything worth reading. You may want to print this out and line your catbox with it.
Eight Things About Me
1. I enjoy taking sexy hot pictures of women.
2. I usually listen to Coast to Coast AM at least for a few minutes in the wee morning hours every day/night. It freaks me out to be awake all alone and hear recordings of exorcisms and sightings of Shadow People.
3. When I was little, I was scared that when I ran up the stairs in the night( I stayed up alone a lot)someone would grab or slash my ankles(Especially reaching through the steps in the basement and grab them).
4. My first R rated movie was "The Incredible Melting Man"
5. I despise having to go into the bowels of my basement and do the laundry in the washing machine I have from 1975. The hot water hose busted so I've been making due with cold. I know, pretty skanky. Using soap liberally.
6. I told the agent at the library that I was artificially inseminated when I applied for our passports.
7. It said "Father Unknown" on Snowflake's application.
8. When my friend Dennis walked into the office this week with a loaded, brand spankin' new Canon 5D, I almost pledged my eternal and undying love to him in exchange for its use.
If I Were:
If I were a beginning, I would be:...a slow sweet kiss.
If I were a month, I would be:...howling for October and pumpkins and Halloween.
If I were a time of day, I would be:... 4:20, Baby. Or cocktail time.
If I were a planet, I would be:... The Moon.
If I were a season, I would be: ...Autumn with it's crackling fires and dusky smoke. Homecomings and Halloween.
If I were a sea animal, I would be: ...Definitely a jellyfish or a sea sponge, floating around brainless, just chillin' in the current.
If I were a direction, I would be:... The East
If I were a piece of furniture I would be a Barcelona Chair or a Bean Bag.
If I were a liquid, I would be:... A sweet and salty margarita.
If I were a scare, I would be: ....Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas.
If I were a gem, I would be: A Diamond( I like sparkly things).
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: ....A wisteria vine.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: a crackling thunderstorm, the kind that shakes the foundation.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be:... A smooth jazzy clarinet
If I were an animal, I would be:... A dolphin because they're really horny and have lots of orgasms.
If I were an emotion, I would be: ...pure joy.
If I were a vegetable, I would be:.... a juicy watermelon, succulent and sweet and shapely like my ass. Hell yeah I'm goofy. Goofy like a melon.
If I were a sound, I would be: ....The sound from the minarets as they call the morning prayer.
If I were an element, I would be:...... water
If I were a car, I would be:.... a Nash Metropolitan Convertible
If I were a song, I would be:.... Lady Marmalade the Original version
If I were a food, I would be:.... Baklava, difficult to make, with irresistable layers of buttery goodness, in the end it's worth all the work.
If I were a place, I would be:.... New York City
If I were a material, I would be:.... Temperpedic Mattress Foam
If I were a taste, I would be:... HAGEN DAZ COFFEE ICE CREAM
If I were a scent, I would be: ....patchoulli.
If I were a religion, I would be:.... non denominational
If I were a sentence, I would be: ....You want pizza?
If I were a facial _expression, I would be:.... a garish funny face, making SF laugh.
If I were a subject in school, I would be:.... Pottery
If I were a shape, I would be:... hmmm how about a decahedron
If I were a color, I would be:... Cool and green
If I were a thing, I would be:.... someone's life changing thought
If I were a book, I would be: ....The Catcher in the Rye
If I were an artist, I would be:.... Frida Kahlo
If I were a collection of poems, I would be:... Annabelle Lee by EAP
If I were a landmass, I would be:.... the desert
If I were a watch, I would be:... a platinum Piaget
If I were God, I would be:... giving everyone the help they need and drinking lots of margaritas
If I were a vowel, I would be:... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Like the Fonz.
If I were a consonant, I would be:... ssssssssssssssssssssss
If I were a theory, I would be:... relative
If I were a famous person, I would be:.... Isabella Rosellini
If I were an electronic equipment, I would be:... an iPod
If I were a sport, I would be:.... synchronized swimming
If I were a movie, I would be:... Blue Velvet
If I were a cartoon, I would be:.... Jabber Jaw
If I were an explorer, I would be:.... hanging out in the Galapagos
If I were a scientist, I would be: ....doing alot of pharmaceuticals
If I were a relation, I would be:.... Faithful
If I were a river, I would be:... most likely polluted
If I were intoxication, I would be: ....a very anticipated first kiss
If I were alone, I would be: ....under the pergola, reading
If I were a question, I would be: ...What?
If I were a habit, I would be:.... mastubation
If I were in an atom, I would be: ....part of something
If I were you, I would be:....needing a good stiff something.
