I knew within minutes upon waking that I wanted to OPT OUT. F! F! F! The Darling Demon began by innocently scratching the headboard with a gel ink pen. Maybe a Magic Eraser would get it out. I just F-ed it up even more. It looks like shit. Pillows, lots and lots of pillows are a necessity, not an accessory.
Throwing his expanding and collapsing glow in the dark sphere at (coincidentally) his string of glow in the dark planets, he missed, sending the orb spiraling off the top of the lamp where I had a night light balanced on the very apex(this to keep from idle hands). It fell off and splintered the bulb into a billion microscopic shards.
While I was picking up glass I could barely see, Dr. Evil emptied an entire bottle of Molton Brown shower gel on the floor. Ugh.
I'm feeling beyond the normal pleasantries so let me just say earlier in the manana he shit his pants. A vegetarian dump so foul, I thought I had to double bag it. Growing more and more irritated by the unfolding events, I was mystified as to why I was still smelling nasty garlicky wreckage.
WTF!
The frosting on the cake- the dog was sick and shit on my sparkling clean kitchen floor(yes I scoured yesterday per my ritual).
DISGUSTING!
My sprinkley twinkley day of shiney goodness was now ass blacked into oblivion. Oh the humanity!
keeping sane, naughtiness, shitting, Mr. Clean Magic Eraser
5 comments:
Boy do I know about days like that. I just want to go back to bed. Sorry it was crappy. Ha, crappy. I crack myself up.
Hang in there it will get better or at least that's what people tell me.
Um, so shit like that doesn't just happen to me. WHEW! Thanks. I feel better now. C-
I feel for you Crystal, X2!!! Especially with the mice.
Ms Christine, I hear girls are a world apart. I may never know. Glad things are nice and, sterile(in a dust free clean kind of way)! Sweet Sofie, a role model to all children everywhere. Snowflake salutes your with a Kazoo rendition of the ABC's!
We had a day quite similar to yours yesterday, too!
Good News on the mice front, we got them all for now. We put traps in the basement. Now we will see what happens when the weather turn cold.
I hate mice.
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