Monday, May 01, 2006

Dog Food Junkie

I've done it all. In the very beginning it was Pedigree. Then as a vet led dipshitte, feeding my pets "Science Diet" and Iams "Eukanuba". Then it was Bil-Jac and Nutro and Sensible Choice. There had to be an "Incredible Crock" of shit yet to be found out there. Eventually I came into my own, reading The Whole Dog Journal, and branching out into Innova and California Natural.

I tried Eagle Pack Holistique Select, and Solid Gold Holistic and Fromm's Duck and Potato. Back to Innova and its EVO, a supposed raw diet in the form of kibble. Yeah, right. It's more like road kill in a bag. What a stench! From there it was back to Solid Gold Millenium(beef) and then to its Wolf King(salmon & bison). Honestly, I've been disappointed by all of them.

Thanks to the latest bag of boutique Wolf King, in the quiet of this night I am the recipient of a steady audible stream of boxer sphincter flapping(much like a circus clown with a fart gag) and the aroma of fetid garlic wafting throughout the downstairs. Did someone just step on a whole friggin' flock of ducks? I can't deal with it any longer.

I took up the jones again tonight after work and found Dick VanPatten's Natural Balance Organic Formula. Sounds good to me. Only time will tell if the sound of silence prevails. Seriously, a dog fart by any other name would smell as rancid.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Um, wouldn't a can of "oust" be easier?

Anonymous said...

Otto has been on the original Natural Balance from day one. There have been times we've run out and had to get an alternative because Petco was closed, only for it to go out in the trash the next week. Must be some tasty shit!

Anonymous said...

Genevieve eats "California Natural", the lamb and rice formula. When I first switched her over from Innova (she has very itchy skin, and they said this one is the best for that...no allergens) she had diarreah (sp) all over the place. I called the petfood store and said, can I return this expensive bag of dog food, because it's not agreeing with my dog's stomach. She said, sure, but did you do the 7-day switchover? I said, what's that? She said, That's your problem. Have you been following the 7-day switchover? If you don't know what it is, you may have the same problem I had.

I just switched her cold turkey, which they say can be hard on some dog's stomachs, no matter how gentle the food. So, what you do is give him a little bit of the new food, mixed in with the old, and increase the percentage of new to old gradually, over a period of at least 7 days. That way the dog's stomach has a chance to adjust.

You do know that there are people out there who cook their dogs food for them, and SWEAR it's the only way to go...could you be one of those, and you haven't figured it out yet? ;)

Anonymous said...

And OH MY GOD, how funny is it that that's Dick Van Patten from Eight is Enough, tasting dog food! Way too funny. :)

Anonymous said...

Yes, I was wondering if anyone would remember ol' Dick from those days! I do the switchover gradually. Yet, I had a similar reaction when Charlie went on Innova the first time, even doing it right. I have cooked little things for the puppinos over the years, too. I'm just always looking for the magic bagged superfood. So, I'm going to try the Organic NB, sounds good, like the idea behind it and the chicken is free range, no antibiotics or hormones and NO GMOS.

Otto(anniem's bodacious puglet) is the picture of health so I'm hoping for good things.

Christine...I would need something akin to an aerosol IV drip. Or something attached to his ass that simaltaneously sprays a burst of freshness as he splats his ass rot.

Anonymous said...

Well this is what I am faced with...my dog wont change. I am of the mind that you just wait for her to get hungry enough, and see if she will eat. But I dont have the strength.

Anonymous said...

J, I've heard that dogs need to be switched over also. I've started cooking for my dogs and I've been adding it slowly to their kibble. I'll probably never get to 100% cooked food, but I enjoy giving them something from my heart and hands. Luckily, no gas!