I’m annoyed by Bobby Flay. Maybe it’s his nasally NY drawl combined with his receding hairline compounding the irritation factor. Maybe it’s the whole Iron Chef America thing. I’m not in awe of his kitchen prowess and am totally turned off by his hot shit ‘tude. I remember the time I requested information from the French Culinary Institute. They bombarded me with e-mail and snail mail for months on end.
Mr. Flay “sent me a letter”(a glorified form letter) from the Mesa Grill encouraging me to enroll in the FCI and touted its expertise. GAG. Then I received a note from Jacques Torres and he was wondering if I had any questions about the Pastry Arts Program. Briefly I imagined covering ol’ Jacques in a nice melty dark chocolate and licking it off. Everyone knows, if you’re gonna go to a food school in the US, go to the CIA, baby.
This foodie’s fast finally came to an end this weekend. I indulged in grapes and pineapple and juices. Grapes are like giant sugar bombs after two weeks of abstinence! A day later I moved on to some caramelized grilled onions, peppers, tomatoes and mushrooms. MMMMM. The flavors were divine. I could really go for some cold sesame noodles right about now. MMMMMMM...food.
Monday morning finds me at work watching what else, The Food Network and Mr. Flay. We’ve moved on to Molto Mario. I don’t like him either. He just seems like a dirty cook. By dirty I mean he probably scratches his fat pimple ridden ass and then sticks his finger in the tomato sauce for a taste. I’m just waiting for a millipede to drop out of his scruff. He’s like the Oogie Boogie Man in the Nightmare Before Christmas. IS he hiding a bad case of shingles? Kind of like how Rachel Ray doesn’t bother to wash off her packaged chicken before she uses it.
What or WHO do I like? I love Alton Brown. He reminds me of this sweet, cute, talented, artistic, brainy guy I dated in college. I’m a virtual repository for trivial bits of information and I LOVE it when you’re filled with actual USEFUL knowledge hors d'oeuvres. I used to adore this show on PBS called “The Kitchen Sessions” with Charlie Trotter. Nothing sexier than a sexy man cookin’. However, my fave foodie would have to be Lynne Rosetto Kaspar, the host of The Splendid Table. Her wealth of knowledge combined with her passion for new ways of exploring tastes is inspiring.
I also like Michael & Joan Stern who have a little “Road Food” segment on this program. They bring you all of North America’s standout road trippin’ joints whether it’s waffles or dim sum. This past weekend I watched a “Lifetime” movie directed and starring Kathy Bates(Misery Kathy Bates, not the Edward Scissorhands Kathy Bates). It was called “Ambulance Girl” based on the autobiography of Joan Stern. She battled with depression and in her own way of recovering became obsessed with becoming an EMT. Interesting.
I’m happy to be back among the eaters of the world in all their shapes and forms and specializations. Food glorious food.
bobby flay, french culinary institute, jacques torres, lynne rosetto kaspar, alton brown, charlie trotter, joan & michael stern, food network
5 comments:
I'm with you on Mario, Alton, Flay, and Ray. I happen to like Giada on Everyday Italian, though Ted and Maya really dislike her. I also like Ina Garten on Barefoot Contessa. They don't like her much either. But she has some pretty tasty recipes. Ted used to hate Alton Brown, but he's come around. He cracks Maya up. Anyway, I loves me some good food tv...do you ever see Lidia's Italian Kitchen on PBS? That's a winner, definately. There's another one I like, too, but I wonder if it's local, since the woman is from Napa...I can't remember the name of the show.
Welcome back to foodville. I'm sure you are feeling wonderful about now, all cleansed and happy inside. :)
I cannot stand Mario! He is a dirty, sweaty and I am sure if I had smell-ivision I could say smelly chef. I have to say my faves are Barefoot Contessa and Giada. Oh and Emeril...Bam! Foot right up the 'ol ass! Enough already. I am sour grapes today, can you tell?
OMG, I think we were separated at birth. I cant stand Flay, Ray, and Lagasse. Flay is so up on himself but he's just a troll. Superman and I were having a coversation recently and his obessession with Howard Stern. He was amazed by how influenced he was by him. I said I felt the same way about Alton Brown. If he said Flay's latest cookbook was good, I would check it out, even though every fiber in my body would scream out "NO!"
Ray-someone wound her up to tight, she looks manic and laughs too much. Lagasse-his audience annoys the hell out me, They cheer for every freakin' thing. More garlic- !YAYAYAYAYAY! He's a god!" He says annoying things like "you can use more paprika, I don't care. Usa as much as YOU like." No shit. I know I can use more, don't give me permission to tweak a recipe, I'll do what I darn well please!
I really like Ida Garten's recipes but she laughs too much during the show.
I also love Tyler Florence. I've made a few of his recipes and they're very good. Plus, he's a cutie. Charlie Trotter is cute in a preppy, ivy league kinda way. He's a bit serious for me, recipes more ambitious than I. I also love Anthony Boudain. Great book, love his attitude.
Can you tell I'm obsessed with food?
I have been watching Bravo's show Top Chef. It is pretty good. It is almost over with the finale tomorrow night or next week.
Si, si! Love Giada, Ina and Tyler! I made Tyler's cold sesame noodles and yumblies! I like AB as well! Crystal! I LOVE Top Chef. I think one of the happiest days of my boring days of late was when Steven got booted...YAY! I've been watching the reruns a week late at work as well.
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