Sunday, January 17, 2010

Bummer All the Way Around

One of SF's fish died. My friend came over and changed the water and we took out this sponge/fliter pad thing and things are apparently on the up and up. Why? Well, I looked into the bowl this morning, and there, hiding in the fake, glow in the dark sea grass was a small black fish that looks nothing like any of the fish we have. Can anyone 'splain this to me?!

Friday I picked up Charlie's ashes finally. The vet's office left a message saying I should call them, but whatever. I just showed up. Thankfully there wasn't some doggie crematory mix up. Yeah, I cried some more. I saw a guy with his ancient beagle mix with a tumor the size of a small watermelon under its armpit. I overheard them say the dog was on morphine. He still had a waggle in his tail. I looked into his eyes and he seemed okay. Was I wrong?

I just feel so pissed off. It's everything. And on top of it all I am sick. Faithful to the neti, but it just isn't doing it for me.

I go back to school tomorrow and I'm not sure if I want to take the 18 credit load. I don't HAVE to take everything I'm taking. Sometimes, on days like to day, I just feel lost. So completely lost. I had a friend say some weird stuff to me and I just don't know how to process it. Maybe just run away screaming.

Love, Heidi

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