Wednesday, May 02, 2007

The Darkside

I hate to confess it, but 'someone' in the household has a problem and it's not me. Lately 'someone' has taken to picking their nose and snacking on it. Yesterday on the way home, I spied this 'someone' in the rearview all snuggly in the five point harness with a finger half way to Corpus Callosum. Immediately, in a booming supermarket loudspeaker voice I honk,

"Troll Gold Alert! Troll Gold Alert! Waaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaah!"

Shocked is an understatement. He looked at me and busted out laughing like I've never heard him before.

I've told him that was "troll gold" before. Boogers. Nose crust. Critters.

"You do know that if you continue to do this, you will turn into a toothless troll, right?"

"Nah-uh" he squeaks, giggling.

"Well, everytime I see you do that I'm going to sound the 'troll gold alert' and I don't care where we are or who we're with," I say.

In the past I've used the troll as a threat. Lately he avoids brushing his teeth and I have to do it. My friend told me that they tell their little boy that his teeth will turn black if he doesn't brush. He snaps to it. For me, this turned into,

"You're teeth are going to turn black, fall out AND you'll turn into a troll!"

50/50 chance it works. Not everything little Sweet Pea does is so adorable. He prefers to run around half naked and even when it's freezing out, he'll come spinorking outside to frolic, dangling his bits to the wind as if he were some little extra on 'Quest for Fire.' Oblivious to people, he's all non-chalant and free.

I'm enjoying it while it lasts, nose gourmet and all.