My best friend always says, "Whatever you do, don't look him in the eye!" Why wouldn't you look this cute lil' baby in the eye? It unleashes a hellfire of ass-shakin', tongue lickin' DYN-O-MITE! The Chidler feeds off of raw body language and eye contact. At seven years old he is still a puppy, a self described lap dog who wants nothing more than a nice walk and lots of hugs. Yes, hugs. He enjoys standing on his back legs and wrapping his front paws around your waist.
If you DO look him in the eye at close range and he channels your nervous energy you may be in for a good tongue lashing with a heavy dose of ass breath. You may just pass out. I've tried it all...Greenies, bones,breath mints. I think it has something to do with his almighty jowls. The rest of him smells great...almost like chocolate chip cookies.
He's defintely not picky when it comes to food or snacks. I can remember one morning coming downstairs without my contacts in and seeing a sparkly glint of metal on the living room rug. Picking it up I find it is the underwire from my bra. Hmmmmmmm...methinks.
The next morning he is crapping out cups and straps from the bra. Thank goodness for the giant Catalpa leaves in my yard. On a different occasion I noticed LuLu's neckerchief from the groomer was missing. It was checked like a Pizza Hut table cloth.
I didn't really think anything of it until I saw The Chidler careening from spot to spot on his haunches(I always wanted to use that word in a sentence) straining. There is no mistaking a red checkered bandana coming out of a dog's asspipe. Once again I came to his rescue with a Catalpa leaf.
At least he draws the line at metal.
One day I came home from work and he had shredded a really nice linen and silk corded down filled throw pillow. It was like the North Pole on the living room floor. Feathers everywhere, but no linen and no silk cord. This time he brought the pug into the act. I cannot tell you just how much fun it is to pull "textiles 'n things" out of your dog's ass.
I look at it this way: what better preparation can you have for becoming a parent? Thanks Chidler! Poopy diapers are a breeze. I've never had to pull anything out of Snowflake's ass.
Yet.
boxer, dog, funny, ass, chewing
