Kiss the Baby, Daddy

'Tis the Season

I found this on Autumn's Mom's site:

I will send a handmade gift to the first 3 people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF(pay it forward) exchange. I don’t know what that gift will be yet and you may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it within 365 days. That is my promise. The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog.

This shouldn't be to hard for me to fulfill. I'm a giver. Any takers?

Less Ass, More Breath

Sweet Little Ass Breath is getting his teeth cleaned today.
I hope it all goes well. I just love my lil' Chidle.

Today I Feel...

Winter Flowers

Doh!

Tonight was the night to drop off and hang our work for the Holiday Spirits show. On Friday, my friend told me drop off was 'five to seven.' The Polish girl in me translated this as 6:55 PM. Well, of course she meant BETWEEN 5 and 7 PM. FUUUUUUUCK.

Oh, and it's in a liquor store. So if you're looking for my angel, he's hanging above the 'mass produced beers' cooler and guarding the Miller Products. I guess I shouldn't have dissed those fvcking dustcatchers.

Thursday Morning Spew

Maybe it's assy of me, but I despise Dreamcatchers. I find them so unattractive in their dust catching design. I dislike the 'mini' ones hanging from rear-view mirrors. Earrings and the like make me gag. Don't EVEN get me started on the big fake wall hanging size 'made in china' ones with the faux turquoise beads you find at a Liquidator store(right next to the resin headed bust of a Navajo Chief). They're just a more elaborate version of all the feathered roach clips I got at the county fair when I was a kid.

On Rear Ends & Happy Dances

See Snowflake. You can tell he's psyched because his gorgeous bedding showed up from Boodalee. It is so cute in fact, that I couldn't wait for him to get a twin size bed. I have to thank ModMom once again for her sumptuous and cool giveaways! And for reminding me to squeeze los limones on a regular basis.



I was so excited about making my Christmas cards on Monday that I rearended someone on the way to the printer. I just tapped him though. Just enough to dent the tailgate on his vintage '92 Cabriolet. FVCK.



Fast forward to today and I just had a large size image matted and framed of the devil in disguise. I completely changed what I'm submitting to the Holiday Show. I think I might be winning some monet, monay, mooooaaaaannaaaaaay! Then again, maybe I just got rear-ended.

Christmas Card?

An Angel when he sleeps.

Where Snowflake Got His Wings

I Dreamt of Bedford Falls

And decorated streets lit after midnight
whispering
In the quiet hush of swirling snow.

Run for the Hills

Happy Thansgiving! Open season on Insanity starts today!

What You Can

Alone, I indulged in the virtues of an empty house. Indulgence can take many forms and afterwards I felt like taking in Tideland. I began to watch. But something was missing and my mind kept wandering across the house to the lonely new cartons of Vanilla Hagen Daz hibernating in the freezer just waiting for their Thanksgiving debut with Pecan or Apple Cranberry pie.

Ice cream needs chocolate. I have no chocolate, I thought to myself. Wait, what about the Nutella? Yes. What about the Nutella. I took a huge, mountainous spoon of Nutella and dropped it into a shiny blue Le Crueset pot. I added a pat of salted butter and some Chocolate Silk soy milk. Whisk! Whisk! Whisk! Soon it was one smooth, satiny warm velvet river of wanton lust.

I poured it all over the pristine creamy white round scoops. Wait, more, more, something more. Yes! The fresh new can of cocktail peanuts sighed in ecstasy as I peeled open the cover and dropped their salted bodies liberally into the love.

I turned Tideland back on and as I ate that improvised Sundae(seriously mmmmmmming and ooooooing all the while), I realized that it was better than ANY sex I've ever had. EVER.

Which brings me back to Tideland. This film really didn't need the directors "Gentle Viewer" message at the beginning. This was a period piece. Hardcore 1970's, combining a stunning visual experience with a touch of the macabre. Could this be what it's like to be in a Wyeth painting? Only sometimes. There are elements of Alice in Wonderland combined with a little human taxidermy. Flannery O'Connor could have wrote this had she lived in Haight Ashbury in the late 60's and sucked on a sugar cube.

Like it or not, it's all about coping mechanisms. So when life hands you lemons, make a Sundae. Improvise.

Bound & Gagged

And headed your way.

The Fuze

How can you not dig a bunch of guys that crawl into a freezer for you? Okay, I've finally got it right now! Like The Exclusive Company, say it with me... The Fuze! Yeah.

Up All Night (almost)

I had the night to myself last night! The whole night, even this morning, as I type and drink a cup of Fair Trade, I can only think about how quiet the casa is. Like most single mothers with a free night in these parts, I did not go to one of the many dive bars and get completely shit faced. I like to save that for special occasions, like when The Godfather comes home from Miami. I don't know though, I just don't like it all that much any more. It's one thing to sip a bottle of red wine over the course of an evening, but I can no longer make my alma matter proud or keep up with The Bingers that we've so famously become.

I had a little film festival last night after attempting to get some Christmas shopping done. Rediculous.

Anyway, my first film of the night was "Fido." It's just bursting at the seams with Technicolor eyecandy goodness. The sets and costumes zing with shiny mid-century-modern love. Oh, and it's CANADIAN. I had no idea Canada had zombies. It's funny and an interesting metaphor as social commentary on the good ol' USA. Don't chit yourself(stealing your word, James), the Canucks hate us more than the Frogs. But how can you not love a movie with lines like:

But Bill, everyone has one!
We can't afford a zombie!

ZOMCON: When the heart stops, we start.

Old people can't be trusted.

I hate old people!

You crazy, wonderful zombie!

I don't want you to think anything we did is normal or okay in any way. (My FAVE)

After that gorgeous gem, I watched Apocalypto. I really wanted to see it because it was a huge chunk of my studies at Madison. It was alright. It's visually stunning and true to the violence. But really, it was nothing more than a formula of Braveheart. I will say there was alotta ass candy for the ladies. And cool tattoos. Enjoy.

I had three more movies to go and I decided the capper for the evening would be "Ju-On," the original Japanese movie that 'The Grudge' with Sarah Michelle Geller was based on. Apparently, there are some things that are very scary to the Japanese as culture...specifically, little boys in white body paint and faceless long black haired girls who crawl kind of Exorcist like down steps. I think this is a movie that seeps deep into your psyche. The images creep in and by the end, yeah, I was a little freaked out. I had some weird dreams. And I was wondering when the swamp girl would just pop out of the closet or something. And then the phone rang two times after 2:30AM. Who could have possibly been drunk dialing me? Who knows.

Just like those wild and wooly maniacal Mayans, I'm happy the sun is shining.


Still to come: Tideland and The History Boys

Isn't She Lovely

The day before yesterday, Snowflake and I received a little package from our Dearest Canadian. She sent Snowflake this wild little soap from the Manitoulin Soap Factory. She sent the same soap to Jimmy. I guess that means when I smell Snowflake, I can think of Jimmy or maybe Abigail and Emily. Like they'll both be running these eyeballs over their dangly bits. Hmmm...has anyone ever had an eyeball on their a$$hole? Maybe not until now.

Ack, cough... she also sent me something from the amazing Chain Mail God, Dylon Whyte. Lovely, lovely, lovely. Just like Chrissy.

Dinner- A Cross Section

Mellen's Magini

I stole this from my favorite Mellen.. It's kind of Imagini. Just do a Google image search for each item and voila, instant visual DNA!


1.) Age at your next birthday:


2.) Place you'd like to travel to:


3.) Your favorite place:


4.) Your favorite objects:


5.) Your favorite food:


6.) Favorite Animal


7.) Favorite Color:


8.) Place where you were born:


9.) Place where you live:


10.) Name of a Past Pet:


11.) Name of a Past Love:


12.)BF's Nickname:




13.) Your First Name:


14.)Your Middle Name:


15.)Bad Habit(irritating is more like it)


16.)First Job:


17.)Grandmother's Name:


18.)College Major:

"Marilla says that a large family was raised in that old house long ago, and that it was a real pretty place, with a lovely garden and roses climbing all over it. It was full of little children and laughter and songs; and now it is empty, and nothing ever wanders through it but the wind. How lonely and sorrowful it must feel! Perhaps they all come back on moonlit nights. . .the ghosts of the little children of long ago and the roses and the songs. . .and for a little while the old house can dream it is young and joyous again."-Lucy Maud Montgomery
(Anne of Avonlea)