So Goes...

My Polish grandmother would always say "So goes..." when there wasn't a good answer for something kind of uncomfortable or sad.  When things go bad, so goes...

My husband packed up some of his shit and left this morning after a night full of craft beer and raging at my son.  So here I am, alone once again.  It isn't bad.  I did Dry January and Veganuary so I call this Dry Veganuary.  I am still going strong so it helps when something like this erupts.  Like a volcano.

I've had a few moments where I feel sad and I want to cry but being alone is something I've been used to!  He hasn't called or texted and neither have I.  He hates my family and we are all screwed up, entitled dick bags.  When I wouldn't engage him in his rant last night, he texted me telling me how much he hates it here and how he is so angry because he is going to "lose his dogs."

Dogs can do strange things to people.  I have watched this man who never had the chance to really bond with a dog go GOO GOO GA GA over the two puppies that we have raised together.  He loves them unconditionally.  You might think I'm joking but he does in fact have way more affection and emotion for them than me.

I am not angry.  It's so fuckin' funny how we tolerate so much shitty behavior in others in the fear of being alone.  That chick isn't me.  So I feel calm in a way.  Alone but calm.