Existential Crisis or Borderline Personality Disorder

I started this blog when Snowflake was just a little speck.  He turns 18 very, very soon.  How did this happen?  Things you never think about as a 20 or 30 something are now so stone cold front and center.  I feel my emotions so deeply its hard for me to elaborate!  Just the idea of getting old and not being there for my kid breaks my heart.  When I had him, I realized how had it must have been for my mom to let me go off to college or anywhere really.

I feel that so much.  It's such a deep note of sadness knowing that someday we won't be there.  Where does the time go?  I don't know but something that is six months or a year away doesn't seem too far now.  I feel like I lost a lot by getting married when he was eight.  His stepdad never wanted to be a stepdad, I guess.  They just never developed a meaningful relationship.  But the kid?  He hates school but is so smart.  And a smart ass.  Sort of like his mom I suppose.  Oh the ranging hormones of the teenage years and for these years!