So much stuff has happened since last I wrote on my poor neglected blog. I met an amazing person. He's super cool, super nice and just sweet. We've been dating for a little over a month and I sense there are some challenges ahead of us. And maybe we operate in weird ways. I really have nothing to compare it against since I haven't dated in a lifetime and it has been the most normal relationship I've experienced. I don't know.
Being a single sole parent, I'm not ready to just jump in and introduce SF to him and vice versa. I honestly don't know what to do about it. I have said that I won't introduce anyone to him unless it is serious because if it's not, what is the point? This course of actions proves to be not so much fun, the road less traveled. We end up seeing eachother once a weekend. Or, if I'm fortunate, my parents keep him overnight. But still... you know how it is when you like someone and you can't just see them when you want? It sucks.
And that's another thing. My mother. I sometimes wonder if she truly ever wants me to be happy. She gives me the silent treatment because I haven't had marathon conversations with her lately. Nor did I tell her or anyone for that matter about this person I dig. I hate passive aggressiveness. Contrast this with her overwhelming support of my brother's relationship, new since Father's Day. I mean Christ, he can do no wrong. Can I vent? She stays overnight. His kid is there. Whatev. He did something really incredibly stupid and she hid it from me. What was it?
Driving completely shitfaced with his kid in the car to meet her parents for the first time. WTF. His GF ended up telling me. Sometimes I just want to run away screaming from everyone and everything. There is nothing I can do to convince anyone of the bullshit beauty that is life. Can I handle a relationship? IDK. This person is facing some difficulty and it seems like I can't cheer them up. It seems sad, like a bummer and that combined with the fact that we have limited contact just seems hard and impossible. I want to positive, but it seems like everything is always such a fvcking battle all the time. I am only one person and I realize that although I think I can do all of this alone, I can't.