Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Gaussian Blur
Monday, January 24, 2011
nothing ventured
You'd think by the time 42 rolls around you'd have some semblance of a life. I do have a "life". I breathe, I eat. I think it is the traditional sense of what defines adulthood is what my life lacks. I still have a flip flopity dangling umbilcal cord attached to my parents. Good things happen, but financially, I get nowhere. I went back to school, graduated at the top of the class and still don't have a job.
I lie.
I have a "job". A job that pays me $10 hour for doing stuff that I like. When I see the work that I am capable of, what all these fellow photographers are capable of, it blows my mind. It's like we're picking away at the giant coal deposit deep in the mine. There is no light down here, just work. We live in the anonymous glory of the beauty shots for shoes that we see months before anyone else. We are shutter monkeys.
In the mire of all of this, I have continued on with my Couch to 5K training. I started week four yesterday morning and completed the first workout. I thought I was going to die, but miraculously I made it. This session consists of a five minute warm up(brisk walking), a three minute run. ninety second rest, five minute run, two minute rest, three minute run, ninety second rest, five minute run and cool down for five minutes.
I never think I'm going to make it, but somehow I do. The story of my life.
I lie.
I have a "job". A job that pays me $10 hour for doing stuff that I like. When I see the work that I am capable of, what all these fellow photographers are capable of, it blows my mind. It's like we're picking away at the giant coal deposit deep in the mine. There is no light down here, just work. We live in the anonymous glory of the beauty shots for shoes that we see months before anyone else. We are shutter monkeys.
In the mire of all of this, I have continued on with my Couch to 5K training. I started week four yesterday morning and completed the first workout. I thought I was going to die, but miraculously I made it. This session consists of a five minute warm up(brisk walking), a three minute run. ninety second rest, five minute run, two minute rest, three minute run, ninety second rest, five minute run and cool down for five minutes.
I never think I'm going to make it, but somehow I do. The story of my life.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Life is Beautiful
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Here I Go
Well, I'm off to begin week two of Couch to 5K. I downloaded a companion Podcast and hopefully it will help me through. I am running through the park this time. I get sick of adjusting my speed on the treadmill. Hopefully I won't slip and fall. I'm thinking of taking my boxer boy along for encouragement. Eh. Here I go.
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Late Night Ramblings
I just whipped out a website for my dad. This is like the fifth incarnation for him. He has never liked what I have done and I'm sure he won't like this for some reason or another. I feel like such a loser. The umbilical cord is still attached. Oy.
I don't want to be like that, ever. "I did this so you do that and if you don't you are a horrible lame person". Jeeebus. I ended up using a template that I had. I'm just glad it's over. I have to laugh at those people who get "me" time. Like what the fuck is that?
Please.
On a more pleasant note, I finished my first week of Couch to 5K last night. Tomorrow I'll start week two. Maybe I will make that my "me" time. Those moments when I'm sweating my fat ass off, feeling like choking, ahh. How refreshing.
Last night I watched "The Fountain". I bawled. Can't wait to see "Black Swan". Loved "Requiem for a Dream"(one of my faves). As usual, that thought puts it all back into perspective. Things could always be worse.
I don't want to be like that, ever. "I did this so you do that and if you don't you are a horrible lame person". Jeeebus. I ended up using a template that I had. I'm just glad it's over. I have to laugh at those people who get "me" time. Like what the fuck is that?
Please.
On a more pleasant note, I finished my first week of Couch to 5K last night. Tomorrow I'll start week two. Maybe I will make that my "me" time. Those moments when I'm sweating my fat ass off, feeling like choking, ahh. How refreshing.
Last night I watched "The Fountain". I bawled. Can't wait to see "Black Swan". Loved "Requiem for a Dream"(one of my faves). As usual, that thought puts it all back into perspective. Things could always be worse.
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Life is a Mystery
It's a new year and I've made a huge commitment to my health. I started the Couch to 5K running program. If I don't die somewhere along the way, I'll be in shape to run a 5K in only nine weeks.
That is if I don't pulverize my kneecaps into a fine powdery dust. I just felt the need to get back to the things I used to do before SF. Running. Yep. I used to run three miles a day with the Chidler(RIP, baby). He was my coach and co-pilot. I used to eat a lot less too. So here's to trying and trying again.
Never say die, bitches.
In my new found fervor, I went ahead and signed up for a FIVE mile run in March. Thats two miles more than a 5K. When I told my dad, he actually laughed. I think he thought I was just going to blindly do it. It's a typical reaction. This coming froma man who today in the mail received an anonymous CD that had "To the #1 Polak on my List" written on the paper sleeve. Spell much? WTF
The CD contained a country song about a guy who was only good at one thing: drinking beer. Hmm... methinks. What a mystery.
That is if I don't pulverize my kneecaps into a fine powdery dust. I just felt the need to get back to the things I used to do before SF. Running. Yep. I used to run three miles a day with the Chidler(RIP, baby). He was my coach and co-pilot. I used to eat a lot less too. So here's to trying and trying again.
Never say die, bitches.
In my new found fervor, I went ahead and signed up for a FIVE mile run in March. Thats two miles more than a 5K. When I told my dad, he actually laughed. I think he thought I was just going to blindly do it. It's a typical reaction. This coming froma man who today in the mail received an anonymous CD that had "To the #1 Polak on my List" written on the paper sleeve. Spell much? WTF
The CD contained a country song about a guy who was only good at one thing: drinking beer. Hmm... methinks. What a mystery.
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