Thursday, January 17, 2013

Verbal Diarrheas

The seminal post from which all things begin.  Who am I?  What is my deal?  Where am I going?  What the fuck am I doing?  What I'm doing is being a Lifestyle Photographer.  That entailed a title change and a hefty raise.  Hefty by midwestern bumblefuck standards, that is.  But I'll take it.

It also entailed other peeps despising me.  Talking shit about me.  Nevermind, Ms. Mamma keeps trudging along, making tracks and paying no mind to the bitches that would otherwise bring her down with their outright negativity.  Fuck them.   I will do continue to work hard and continue to wish you well even though you have nothing positive to say about me.

Ms. Mamma is an engaged 43 year woman child that at times does not know how to communicate.  She is living with her beloved until that blissful day, June 15 and wonders, is this the right thing to do?  I never WANTED to live with anyone UNTIL I was married, but here I am.  I wound up preggo a few years ago using this same type of logic.  It seems to get me everywhere I always thought I'd be but never seemed to get to in the "right" way.  I suppose there never is a right way.

So goes...

Planing a wedding in middle age is completely lackluster.  No one seems to be excited about anything except for my Maid of Honor.  Am I not supposed to be gushing about love and everything that comes with it?  I hate to be Debbie Downer, maybe if I were in my 20's things would be different.  I don't know.   It just seems lame to be planning a wedding that is supposed to take place in a few months and there is no excitement.

Except for a new pair of Fluevogs.  Yay.

I had a huge ordeal with my brother and "the woman he LOVES."  They were supposed to stand up in the wedding.  They broke up for a second time since being engaged in June of last year.  She sent me a text telling me not to count on her because they couldn't be together because of his little boy.   Via text, I told her to send the dress back(frowny face).  Good riddance, I thought.

This is the same couple that proclaims to be a gift unto us all with their universal love.  What a crock of shit.  His 'fiance' is ultimately the most negative person I have ever encountered in my life.  She calls my nephew a "belligerent hateful creature."  He's seven.  Seriously?  I think she's projecting.  BIG TIME.

Fast forward a few days later and my mother calls to muscle me from Jamaica to let them back into the wedding.  Because they are (surprise!!!) back together!  Oh joy!  And "what is everyone going to think if your ONLY brother isn't in the wedding party?!"  OMFG, I don't know mom, prolly nothing?

I can't wait until my brother makes some ridiculous out of place speech about his "lady" at my wedding if they're still together.  I can already picture it.  Can anyone clue me in to what I'm supposed to be feeling right now?  I've been on my own and independent for so long, I'm not sure.  Maybe that is fucked up.  I don't know.  

I deactivated my Facebook and I have to say it is kind of liberating.  I didn't tell anyone.  BUT, the wonder couple noticed and said, "What were you thinking?  We thought you defriended us!"  OMFG, for reals?  And this is why I quit.  And I'm old enough to know I can quit anything I want at anytime.   And I can start over.  I can still be whatever I want to be.  Except for a real rockstar.  I never wanted to be that anyway.  Hugs and Kisses.


J at said...

You're living together with your fiance'? My very sage and wise mom told me to ALWAYS live with them first, otherwise you might make the mistake that she made, and marry someone with whom you are not compatible. So good, good for you. Ted and I lived together for almost 3 years before we were married. Though I was semi old fashioned, and wanted to be engaged before living together, because I wanted it to be serious. :)

I'm sorry that your brother's drama is affecting your happiness about the wedding. Just remember that that is indeed what families are for. To love you, and to drive you nuts. You can decide whether to boot him from the ceremony or not, even closer to the big day.

I, for one, am excited for you. Planning a wedding is a stupid amount of work, and fun, and I remember thinking that perhaps my brain was turning into oatmeal, because the wedding was the only thing I could think about. How absolutely boring for everyone else in my life.

And YAY, Congratulations on your promotion, title, and raise! That's rockin' good news! You're so talented, I'm glad that you've found a way to make a living doing something that you're so good at.



Christine McN said...

Hey! I have been thinking of you and your little man a lot lately! I was going to send you guys a Christmas card and some Manitoulin chocolate, but wasn't sure if you were still at the same address. I also missed your blog. I wasn't sure if you were still blogging, but for some reason decided to pop over tonight.

Anyway, I wanted to say I miss ya. I miss our correspondence and your kickass sense of humour.

Looking forward to hearing how things turn out with your brother and your wedding. Congrats on that, by the way!

moi xo