Tuesday, February 24, 2009

not pretty

i study hard every single day. sometimes i equate it to working in a mental coal mine. i get done and i just want to be. just be. i leave it all behind. last night when i got home i was reminded that 'jason' the bachelor was down to two chicks. and the big drama of the previous bachelorette coming in to wreak havoc on his life was just too much for me. i am not a fan of the bachelor.

i honestly have no shame in calling them stupid twats. i don't care how MENSA they might be. i realize i relish in criticizing them from the comfort of my dark red leather and nail-head sofa. why is it that it's OK for the bachelor to have a kid and the potential concubines are forbidden? obviously women with kids are damaged goods.

and the bachelor? i know those nostrils have to be the home of crusty critters. i hope he carries a pocket mirror. the dude reminds me of a little ape. he is 'ape like.' i think it's a huge sign of desperation and how ridiculously we cling to the notion of the romantic love fairy tale. i feel sorry for his kid.

yes, it sucks to be alone, jason. i know the feeling. but i'm also not going to sell myself out and pick someone out just for the sake of 'not being alone.' the world is a huge place and i'll never send the message to my kid that you need someone to 'complete you.' it's a nice idea, but gag me. grow a pair.

moving on to much deeper drama, the season finale of the deep 'true beauty' was on afterwards. it's all about what's on the inside. this show is the brainchild of none other than ashton kucher, who just has to be one of the deepest people, EVER. one of the judges was the waifish cheryl tiegs, who at times was overwhelmed with the choices she had to make. visibly shaken, when she spoke, i think it was obvious her plastic surgery affected her speech. i think she and michael jackson share the same doctor.

vanessa manillo, former TRL host was another judge who i thought might let her lady parts get the best of her. although she claimed inner beauty was key, you could tell that she had a thing for old turd head ass face, Joel. that guy. that crazy guy. he is completely ignorant of his lack of humility. i think he and ashton will become great friends. ashton's mom even said that joel's relationship with his mom reminded her of her own with ashton. that is so fricking heartwarming!

the voice of reason came from fashion expert, nolin marin. he knows what's pretty and has that super keen gay man sensitivity to superficiality. and he can smell bitch from a mile away.

in the end, i was happy they chose julia. honestly, i never remember her saying anything horrid or scathing. she was genuinely sweet, took risks and wasn't a backstabbing f-wad. she'll be included in people magazine's 100 most beautiful people issue. and even though joel didn't win, he'd be an awesome model for soldier of fortune or instinct magazine. joel, you'll always be a winner in your book. that's what counts anyway.

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