i don't wanna talk...

about the things i've been through, but what the hell. today i just feel like bitching and ranting about the dismal, rotten, raunchy, clique ridden place that wausau, wisconsin is. it has no down to earth sensibilities. it doesn't matter if you're a slob or a blob, it's who you know. why the sour grapes, mamma?

oh, i don't know. i'm here there and everywhere and the one thing that i know is that i will never fit in. that is O-K-A-Y. because i don't TRY to be different, i just am. i always have been. i was always the obnoxious, goofy gradeschooler. in high school i was the weird dresser. now i'm the non traditional student who could pass for traditional. wardrobe circa 1991.

WTF does it mean? pre mid life crisis? nervous breakdown? drug induced hallucination? everything about my life is non-traditional and i'm floundering in a sterile, wannabe a big town berg. the thing about real towns is that they change. everything here is the same year after year: oh, sure the stationary or the theme may change, but it's the same tinpins showboating their dominanace in the "art scene", the "publishing world" and charity events.

i wish the maggots would gag.

tasty

this is my cool peanut jack-knife that i received
from someone special, years ago. i still keep it
in my pocket or dangling from a belt loop.
you'd better not meet me in a dark alley...

va-va- vomit!

can you hear the huge, hearty sigh echo from my lungs across the miles? i had my first job interview in twenty years. now, all i want to do is have a margarita. lots of them. i think it went alright and in all honesty, i'm honored to have gotten the interview in the first place. as soon as i was done, i changed my clothes and felt immediately better.

a part of me wonders if i can make it in the 90 degree angle world. i'm totally obtuse for the most part. i like it that way. still, i want to make buckets full of money and still be able to wear pigtails and not pointy shoes with heels. will i ever find that special place?

love, me

froot loops

my little love in mexico, december 2008

birfday!

"mommy, i want my cake to be half green and half purple and i want it to say 'happy birthday true and holden'". done. what a sweet kid. he is so sharing.


the cake couldn't have been any more adorable. that's my 1955 Roper range it's sitting on.


this is holden james...


patiently awaiting the signal to blow...


blow little feesh, blow!


love you, babe. can't believe you're already five. xoxo mommy

snowflake went a ridin'

MKE

revise and drink heavily

i think i'd like a little...

primal scream therapy.

progress

I have to say, I'm pretty fricking pround of myself. I have six pages with rollovers for the links and it all works. When you roll over the links they change from a cream text with a drop shadow to a dark turquoise with an outer glow. Pretty spiffy, I must say. The logo at the top links back to the index page you see. The only thing I didn't do was physically take that photo. I'm sure I did this the Polish way, but it looks completely KICK ASS and I did it without any help from anyone. Damn, it's pretty.

Attention: ABC

You completely suck for canceling the best show on your network. I would be referring to "Life On Mars". Has there ever been a better cast on television? You had a Sunday Night HBO show and you flushed it. I hate you.

go sister

my first time

this is the mock up for a website i'm getting paid to design. not bad for a first timer, eh? i think it's pretty trick! you?

not pretty

i study hard every single day. sometimes i equate it to working in a mental coal mine. i get done and i just want to be. just be. i leave it all behind. last night when i got home i was reminded that 'jason' the bachelor was down to two chicks. and the big drama of the previous bachelorette coming in to wreak havoc on his life was just too much for me. i am not a fan of the bachelor.

i honestly have no shame in calling them stupid twats. i don't care how MENSA they might be. i realize i relish in criticizing them from the comfort of my dark red leather and nail-head sofa. why is it that it's OK for the bachelor to have a kid and the potential concubines are forbidden? obviously women with kids are damaged goods.

and the bachelor? i know those nostrils have to be the home of crusty critters. i hope he carries a pocket mirror. the dude reminds me of a little ape. he is 'ape like.' i think it's a huge sign of desperation and how ridiculously we cling to the notion of the romantic love fairy tale. i feel sorry for his kid.

yes, it sucks to be alone, jason. i know the feeling. but i'm also not going to sell myself out and pick someone out just for the sake of 'not being alone.' the world is a huge place and i'll never send the message to my kid that you need someone to 'complete you.' it's a nice idea, but gag me. grow a pair.

moving on to much deeper drama, the season finale of the deep 'true beauty' was on afterwards. it's all about what's on the inside. this show is the brainchild of none other than ashton kucher, who just has to be one of the deepest people, EVER. one of the judges was the waifish cheryl tiegs, who at times was overwhelmed with the choices she had to make. visibly shaken, when she spoke, i think it was obvious her plastic surgery affected her speech. i think she and michael jackson share the same doctor.

vanessa manillo, former TRL host was another judge who i thought might let her lady parts get the best of her. although she claimed inner beauty was key, you could tell that she had a thing for old turd head ass face, Joel. that guy. that crazy guy. he is completely ignorant of his lack of humility. i think he and ashton will become great friends. ashton's mom even said that joel's relationship with his mom reminded her of her own with ashton. that is so fricking heartwarming!

the voice of reason came from fashion expert, nolin marin. he knows what's pretty and has that super keen gay man sensitivity to superficiality. and he can smell bitch from a mile away.

in the end, i was happy they chose julia. honestly, i never remember her saying anything horrid or scathing. she was genuinely sweet, took risks and wasn't a backstabbing f-wad. she'll be included in people magazine's 100 most beautiful people issue. and even though joel didn't win, he'd be an awesome model for soldier of fortune or instinct magazine. joel, you'll always be a winner in your book. that's what counts anyway.

winter mugging

on a good day

looks good from the neck up

Cheesy

This was almost exactly one year ago...

I know...I haven't got out much lately



But it just snowed the night before last and it looked just like this:

yesterday morning. I had to get out Big Red, my trusty snow steed.

good juju

i really love being in school. i always wanted to be an acedemic. back in the day, i imagined myself the college lit professor, but when big daddy wouldn't help me with my finances, i gave up. what a wuss i was. but now i'm BACK. back in the new york groove.

i enjoy every single thing i'm learning and although it's time consuming, it's not like work at all. it's fun. and that's what your work should be, right kittens?

sorry, gotta go! talk soon. yeah, right!

Getmooh is an automated call back service. It is designed to help you escape a variety of situations by calling you automatically on your phone at a pre-specified time and playing you a recording which will either instruct you on what to say to elude your tormentor(s), or which will simply give a convincing sense of you being on an important call. Just put in your phone number and schedule the day and time to receive the call.

because it tastes good

ahead of me is balding, flannel shirt, bowling jacket, beer belly with no wedding ring. i'm staring into the basket: two cans of dinty moore beef stew, two packets of hillshire farms 'little smokies', one six pack of miller lite in cans and one 'smart ones' frozen dinner. i mean, why bother?